Welcome to... Cassie's Rules For Making Jack Twitter's Bad Bird Website Into A Good Website!

Because it can be! Sometimes!

I think.

(h/t to @OriginalOestrus, who inspired me.)

1) You see that column over there on the right with trends and hashtags and news or whatever?

Just...don't click on any of it, ever.

2) The same goes for looking at comments to popular tweets. Don't look at these. Ever.

We are all Lot's Wife, and rando Twitter comments are Sodom.

Look upon them and you will ALSO become, like, way too salty.

3) Never use the main Twitter Dot Com interface anyhow. Go get Tweetdeck, then get the extension that lets you make the columns bigger, and then sit back and watch all the happy columns scroll down while day bleeds into night bleeds into day.

4) Do not engage in ~THE DAILY DISCOURSE~ unless it's something silly or you honestly have something new that you feel a burning need to add to the conversation.

If you're just like, "eh, I have an opinion here, so I might as well get it out there!" you're gonna have a bad time.

5) If you make a tweet about ~THE DAILY DISCOURSE~ and you get like 3 immediate replies and you realize that you don't want to spend the next three hours on this, just delete it.

Seriously. Nobody will care.

6) Your standards for blocking people should be WAY lower!

You are not sending someone to a gulag - you're just getting them out of your replies.

If someone is being annoying or negative in your mentions and you don't know them? Block and move on. It's freeing, I promise.

7) Un-following people: also okay! You do not have to feel bad for un-following someone who, for example, suddenly starts tweeting up a storm about something that doesn't interest you!

I un-follow people if they are constantly complaining. I just don't want that energy on my TL.

7a) We tend to treat blocking/unfollowing as the end of a friendship, or as if it is a declaration of hate or strong mutual dislike or something, but this site works SO MUCH BETTER if you are constantly curating your feed to make sure that it is something you enjoy engaging with.

8) Do all sorts of tweets. Funny ones, joyful ones, sad ones, meaningful ones, venting ones, silly threads about fast food, etc. etc.

See what types of engagement are meaningful to you; what makes you feel closer to the folks on here that you enjoy interacting with.

9) You probably follow too many celebrities & influencers!

Just because you like Big Important Actor does not mean your Twitter feed is better when it's clogged up with, like, press tour pics and well-curated marketing copy.

I have close to 0 tolerance for this kinda stuff.

10) All of this! You can mute people that you know IRL and don't want to offend with an un-follow. You can also turn off someone's retweets and oh lord do I need to do this more often. https://twitter.com/timbriody/status/1264243468299309056

11) Some bigger celeb-ish accounts are actually great, and I recommend interacting with them in fun and positive ways.

Getting that RT or quote or even starting a convo with one of your heroes is part of what makes Twitter so unique and amazing. Where else can that happen?