i feel like there& #39;s a difference between internalized racism and racism that we don& #39;t talk about. my internalized homophobia doesn& #39;t make me homophobic, you know?
im trying to say, like, if you& #39;re black and you& #39;ve internalized that anti-blackness, that doesn& #39;t make you a racist. that makes you a person who needs to unlearn that particular defense mechanism. right? am i wrong here is something not clicking for me
like i am white so if someone wants to chime in with an actual valuable opinion please do so. i don& #39;t know. it& #39;s just that when i was younger i would purposely seek out relationships with homophobic people because i thought it would protect me, you know? and it did, for a while
as long as i was cool and laughed at all the jokes, even the ones at my expense that directly accused me of being gay, i was safe because i had the protection of plausible deniability. could i really like girls if i& #39;m friends with so-and-so? no! they& #39;d never hang out with a wlw!
and i& #39;d already known that i liked girls for years. my older sisters taught me the word bisexual when i was ten years old and i felt like i finally had a way of describing myself that made sense. then i learned--not from my sisters--that people might want to hurt me for it