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brooklyn99 live tweet thread baby, lets see how much i love this show
okay so i wasn't actually gonna start this until tonight but i have a bit of extra time rn so I'm a least gonna watch the pilot now
"I'd like to apologize for my parent his parents didn't give him enough attention" LMFAO GIRL
*partner good god
I HAVENT KNOWN THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN IN MANY MOONS
tf is jake so funny for
TERRY TITTIES
i think i have a crush on rosa
WHEN YOU USE THE WORD RABBI YOU KNOW THAT TURNS ME ON
Amy's got this little smirk she does and it's really hot
oh i started watching ep 2 btw
ive literally never been attracted to andy samberg in my life but suddenly I kinda am
charles having a crush on rosa is..... really weird
okay got two episodes, im really into it so far, jake and rosa are my faves so far, and i shall continue tonight
okay going back to b99 now with ep 3
yes sir i will make better mouth
omg it's ethel beavers
HER NAME IS STILL ETHEL
is that pete davidson
"black people CAN sell drugs" SHUT THE FUCK UP LOL
don't laugh at rosa you bitch ass kids
"girls are so scary" yeah that's true
"cops are the worst" preach gina
okay i like gina
jake kinda hot when he solves a case
who the fuck is this bitch on a date with amy i hate him already
im so glad jake interrupted that's hot
i relate to amy on a personal level
AMY BOWING TO HOLT PLSGDHDHDH I LOVE HER
hey it's the "I've never been happier" gif I used
rosa diaz step on me challenge
if jake flirts with this girl I'll throw my phone
NO
LIT RALLY WHY
HE HAD SEX WITH HER IM PISSED OFF
This is weird I hate it here
HES PRETENDING TO BE DEAD
I CANT STOP FUCKING LAUGHING SHES INTO DEAD BODIES
I can't breathe oh my god
JAKE STOP JAKE NO
JAKE YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS
oh fuck yeah boyle you tell him
wtf is wrong with this bitch
why doesn't holt like amy:(((
THIS IS SO GROSS
stop yelling at amy omg it's making me SAD
this was such a funny episode
boyle fucked a grandma.......
when jake said he works best with others during sex I'm convinced he was looking at Amy, Sorry he was I won't believe otherwise
yo why is terry Like That
my sexuality is rosa's eyebrow slit
the vulture huh
the vulture looks familiar who is he
my sexuality is amy smiling and saying "go rot in hell"
is rosa canonically bi
"do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?"
"of course I'm not an animal"
"of course I'm not an animal"
jake and amy cute
amy only wants to stab jake hahaha loverism
"stay foxy" "die lonely" YES AMY PERIOD OMG
"ENJOY MY BIG WHITE ASS" LOML JAKE PERALTA
oh Halloween episode
"WHAT WOULD BILL SAY" TO THE HILLARY CLINTON COSTUME GIRL IM WHEEZING
the name of Santiago's sex tape
rosa diaz beat me up challenge
every time I see gina i think about the fact that chelsea wrote park's smallest park and i love her so much for that
how tf did boyle NOT realize that wasn't amy
JAKE IS SO FUCKING SMART OH MY GOD
"it's not your fault I was terrible is also one of your sex tapes" are u sure u think that jake
48 hours I feel the pressure
AMY LOOKS SO HOT IN THAT DRESS
i know I'm only 7 episodes in but this is a really good show I'm glad I'm watching it
NOOOO NOT THE RACIST TSHIRT
Jake playing guitar and screaming sksjsjsjsj
the way jake stalks amy's dates pls get together already
AMY IN THOSE GLASSES WAIT THAT WAS SO CUTE PUT THEM BACK ON
OH MY GOD IM OBSESSED WITH HER IN THOSE GLASSES SHES BABY
okay now i want pie
YOURE INCAPABLE OF LOVE AND ILL PROVE IT
oh my god those glasses...... those glasses please......
the way terry isn't that bad but bc he's t*rry cr*ws he's automatically the worst
"this is killing me" "good, die" loverism
jake and amy date each other challenge
jake got amy her date back,,,, that's sweet but also like stop that
Amy with her hair down is very hot
Jake 
Ben Wyatt
"now I really regret telling you that"
Ben Wyatt "now I really regret telling you that"
talk to rosa like that ONE more time terry i fucking dare you
jake pls don't make this guy your hero
also love how jake was drunk texting amy
stop trying to change rosa smh no rights for men
whenever jake yells I get vivid carl lorthner flashbacks
JAKE PUNCHED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS BEING HOMOPHOBIC OMG THATS THE LOML
"brogan wouldn't know a legit cop if he punched him in the face"
AMY SANTIAGO LESLIE KNOPE
HAVING A THING FOR DANIEL CRAIG
LESLIE KNOPEHAVING A THING FOR DANIEL CRAIG
hey it's patton oswalt
LOL A RIVALRY WITH THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
oh they're fighting
omg both jake and ben wyatt playing shortstop in baseball all these parallels are gonna make me cry
"yeah i have your back" awwww rosa
okay continuing with a thanksgiving episode
boyle bingo that's cute
also t*rry knows what to do is overact
**all not also in the last tweet i can't type
mayo with peanuts..... hate u for that one jake
Amy's speech being 8 pages..... she and Leslie Knope would get along so well
Jake what u so bitter for
YOU USED BAKING SODA INSTEAD OF SALT???!?!
awwww Amy can't cook poor baby
barley and jimes
HOLT IS GOING WITH IT
the way I recognize the bartender from pawnee town hall meetings
Amy held a gun to the rats skdjfjg
NYPD FREEZE! CHANGE THE CHANNEL AND THEN FREEZE!
"but I don't have a new family yet" I know enough spoilers to know you'll get there jake :((((
Amy is so precious
Jake is in a suit
Jake and Holt's relationship is everything to me
do we ever get to meet holt's husband
wow he has a legit killer after him
im gonna pretend that when holt is alone with his husband he's actually really soft and cutesy with him
Boyle saved Rosa's life????
TF IS THIS SO DRAMATIC FOR OMG
HOLT DID THE POP AND LOCK
husbands dog cheddar— i think I've heard of that dog before
1000 push ups
"PLEASE HAVE MY CHILDREN" SKDKDJSJ ME TO ROSA EVERY DAY
Gina live tweets everything, now I want her to meet Donna Meagle
Doug Judy is the bandit..... never felt heartbreak like this before
"the bet" i feel like ive heard about the episode before
awww he's getting a medal of valor
SGT PEANUT BUTTER
sgt peanut butter lil sebastian
important horses that shit on the stage
lil sebastianimportant horses that shit on the stage
okay well Li'l Sebastian wasn't the one to shit on the stage but the parallel still stands
ooooooh that tension that's hot
the way y'all are scaring me
"being one of the girls in jake's car" 
this tension i swear to god
the way I want Amy to lose only so they go on a date
HE ARRESTED 30 GUYS
JAKE WINS
PRETENDING TO PROPOSE WITH A $1 RING
THIS IS CUTE
those outfits are god awful
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
WONT BE A PROBLEM
FAMOUS LAST WORDS AMY SANTIAGO
the way that I can't breathe
BOYLE SPITTING FUCKING FACTS
JAKE LIKES AMY
SOULMATES FUCKING PERIOD
Jake calling Amy darling send tweet
jake is a gemini
they're being SO FUCKING LOUD
BUT JAKE HE JUST WANTS TO STAY THERE
HE WANTS TO STAY UP ON THE ROOF WITH AMY
MY FUCKING HEART SKSJDUDHFH
THAT EPISODE GOOD GOD
hate b99 for making me care about a group of cops
i don't rlly care about terry oop
WHAT KINDA WOMAN DOESNT HAVE AN AXE
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
football game omg
oh the vulture is back
THE PICTURE OF JAKE AND AMY
what the hells othello I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin
me and amy going diving in the dumpster
"why do you even care if I leave?"
oh my god we're doomed boyle looks like a lesbian
adam sandler wtf
jake doesn't want her to go :((((
they haven't even gotta together yet and I'm in pain they better not have a breakup moment
HE WROTE HER A LETTER OF REC
SHE TURNED DOWN THE JOB
HOLTS HUSBAND
they all bought the same wine
HOLTS HUSBAND IS MARC EVAN JACKSON?!?!?! FSGSHSGSHSHDG
THIS MAN IS SERIOUSLY IN EVERYTHING
"be appropriate" please I'm sobbing at how useless they all are rn
jake ur useless and i love you
gina is such an icon
boyle is making out in a closet
how can one have no thoughts about hummus
NO HOLT AND KEVIN DONT FIGHT PLS
Holt was the one to invite them
i love it when rosa hits men
jake stop being into women that aren't amy
is boyle seriously engaged
Asking Amy her biggest flaw is such a smart move
okay I'm back with 1x19 tactical village
so many cold opens are just making fun of boyle skdkfkfj
okay this episode sounds like it's gonna be SO fun
*looks at Amy when he says ladies man*
that's what Luke said about Leia
HEY LUKE DIDNT KNOW, NO ONE KNEW
HEY LUKE DIDNT KNOW, NO ONE KNEW
also "she's like a sister to me" cough cough BULLSHIT
who tf is this teddy bitch
i don't like the vibe between amy and teddy
the way i hate this guy already
"I'm gonna make such a good dad" to Amy oop— 
Jake is so jealous
teddy is ugly
