Didn’t read this until now, because I wasn’t ready. Last night I cried through dinner discussing how my generation of moms is being pushed out of and/or downgraded in the workforce. Tbh, the commentary from childfree feminists on here is stifling. https://www.thelily.com/i-had-to-choose-being-a-mother-with-no-child-care-or-summer-camps-women-are-being-edged-out-of-the-workforce/?fbclid=IwAR29OkPQKqiMW39y86y2f4REPioIaLTwFztrnJ6WqD5XkV5uIKtnlGEfs_k

If you think this is about marrying the right man, you’ve got it so incredibly wrong. That is one tiny, oddly shaped piece of the puzzle.

*Note, I’m going to use heterosexual marriages as default here, because that IS where I’m hearing about the most problems.

Women in heterosexual marriages with kids — more often than not, the men are paid more for their work. This is blunt force economic reality in a pandemic-induced global depression.

The idea that young elementary school kids can do distance learning is BANANAS. Someone needs to be there to coach them through everything. Many days, I work all day long in two-minute increments without interruptions or requests for help.

I have seriously considered live streaming a portion of my work day because I think most people have just no idea what’s being asked of working parents with the youngest school-age kids. Do you know why I don’t? I’m afraid funders will pull away.

I wept when I read this and felt so seen. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/two-parents-two-jobs-two-young-kids-one-day-after-another/2020/05/07/21e4fc24-8b25-11ea-9dfd-990f9dcc71fc_story.html

Most days I get up between 4 and 5 a.m. to start working. I plan my daughter’s school activities around my meetings. I have capped to two meetings per day. About three to four days per week I am so exhausted by 5 or 6 p.m. I feel nauseous.

And I’m one of the lucky ones! I’m not afraid of being fired. I don’t have an unsupportive boss breathing down my neck. My daughter actually loves school at home and is, frankly, thriving. Still, this is brutal and impossible and I never thought I’d be making these calculations.

When this is over, will moms of young kids pushed out of the labor force be able to contribute at our level of capability once more?

I really don’t know. The market for women coming back in their 40s has never been bustling.

Much less in the aftermath of a global depression.

I grieve for my generation of moms.

And if your feminism is a lecture about who to marry or have kids with rather than working for systemic solutions to address discrimination against us and lack of protected, paid leave —

we are not part of the same women’s movement.