Legitimately scared that this "routine visit to the doctor" is how they& #39;re finally going to put the chip in me. I am a cat

They& #39;ve been adding things to my food, I know. Kibble shouldn& #39;t taste like that

My water comes to me only in the bowl they provide. I& #39;ve tried the tap but for some reason they don& #39;t want me in the sink. "Mask off", eh guys

[leans in with a "treat" from a small glossy bag they keep locked away]

"oh you& #39;re *adorable*! have some yummy turkey"

don& #39;t patronize me you sick scumbag, my family will come for you