Like Dominic Cummings, my parents live in Durham. I grew up there. Next week is the funeral of a school friend - it's being held online because his friends can't travel to Durham and attend in person.

We all spent our formative mid-90s years at Durham's famously terrible nightclub, Klute, owned by Cummings's uncle and where Cummings himself worked on the door. I must have stumbled past him in my A-line skirts many a time.

My school friend was found dead in his home in Durham only a few weeks after his mother's funeral, which was also held under lockdown restrictions. His older brother lives in the US and couldn't attend. Now he can't attend his brother's funeral either.

None of those mourning can visit their parents, hug them, deal with their grief in normal human ways. Nor can they have a nostalgic visit to Klute, although I'm sure it's been a while since the dancefloor thumped to the sound of Oasis or The Charlatans....

And the worse thing is that absolutely nothing about Cummings' story makes any sense. Like many parents with young children, I've gamed out the scenario where both my husband and I get very sick and are unable to look after our kids.

We have four children - aged 7, 6 and then 3yo twins, one with Down's Syndrome. It's hard enough just to get a babysitter for a few hours, let alone find someone who would care for all of them 24/7 in a household riddled with coronavirus.

My husband is a transplant patient, so he is about as vulnerable as it's possible to be. He would become incredibly sick if he got covid-19 - the anti-rejection drugs he takes would allow the virus to run rampant. He'd end up in intensive care and his chances of survival are low.

So I've thought a lot about what to do if we both got covid. I've imagined my 7yo daughter calling 999 for my husband because I can't. I've imagined that the last time they ever see their father is him being put in an ambulance . I've imagined not being able to comfort them.

Every fibre of my being wants to be near my parents, to know they would keep my kids safe if I wasn't able to. I completely understand that compunction. But even in every Doomsday scenario I've imagined, I've never once thought the solution would be driving to Durham.

Are we really to believe people of their wealth and position would not have been able to find anyone, neither a friend nor someone they could employ, to help with childcare in their own home in London? Was his sister, 250 miles away, really the only option?

My plan, btw, is that if anyone in our household displayed symptoms, I would put my local friends on standby for an emergency response. If Cummings could sprint out of Downing St, if he was able to drive to Durham, surely he was able to text a few friends?

It's just so unfathomable. We've all been jumping through mental hoops about what's ok, what's justified, what's low risk, what's not. Mostly over small things, but for some of us, the truly terrible. We've had to fight both our natural instincts and our rational thoughts too.

I'm just so sorry for all the people who have not been with their loved ones in their final moments - those whose only experience of Zoom is for a funeral, those who have suffered loss and pain and illness themselves. But have still complied with the rules.

Thank you so much to everyone who has engaged with this thread, whatever view they hold. Thanks for all the kind wishes - I do want to stress that my family and I are incredibly lucky. We can see the sea from our garden, so we really have nothing to complain about.

I want to direct these kind wishes to my friend's family, and to @Biltawulf, who was one of those who knew him best. My heart goes out to anyone who is struggling. This situation has indeed brought out the worst in some people, but also the best. Let's not forget that.