“Malcolm, you know Dom went to visit his parents in March?”

“Yeah, something about childcare.”

“Is this fucking true lads?”

“Oh I cannot fucking WAIT to see that shiny little bald head walk in here.”

“Dom! Dominic wee man, a wee word, if you don’t mind. No, don’t get up, we’ll get blood on the dado rail.”

“That’s very nice Dom but I can’t be bought off with the shit you’ve got lying around. Although strawberry icing, my favourite.”

“Oh you NEEDED to? For childcare? 500 mile round trip during lockdown? Really?”

“Laura, not now. What are you doing in here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be impartial?”

*malcolm intensifies*