I have tanned so much over the past few days and I am so in love with my skin, I am GLOWING. I have a very vivid memory of sitting in Cricklewood McDonald& #39;s with my older cousin who I really looked up to. She was the cool one of the family, the one I wanted to be like.

It was a really sunny day and we were sat by the window eating McFlurry& #39;s. She told me I shouldn& #39;t sit beside the window in the sun because I& #39;d "get dark." Small comments like these used to make me fearful the sun growing up, it sounds silly but it& #39;s about colourism right?

I was definitely about 12/13 at the time and very impressionable. It took me ages to unlearn a lot of that toxic projection. I now understand it didn& #39;t come from a bad place but from a deep-rooted anti-blackness that she internalised from her peers and the media.

Thank god we& #39;re both grown now! I only remembered this when my flatmates were complimenting me on my tan and I thanked them. 12 years ago this would have made me feel really insecure, I& #39;d scrub at my body profusely to get rid of my tan and now I can& #39;t wait to top them up.

Anyway, rant over just an observation that I too was in that self-hate ghetto growing up and then I found Tumblr lool.