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Over the last week I have been reading a lot of brave people stories with it being mental health week and it really does show you really do not know what’s going on in someone’s head and this is why we should always be kind to one another, always 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💛" title="Yellow heart" aria-label="Emoji: Yellow heart"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💫" title="Dizzy symbol" aria-label="Emoji: Dizzy symbol"> ...
In early 2015 my mum was diagnosed with cancer & it was made very clear in our house that we were not to let it get us down, remain positive because we would beat it, my mum fought every step of the way, she had chemo & an operation .. then we got the news she had the all clear
Months later, we were given the devastating news the cancer had returned, again we were to remain positive to fight it all the way .. again! My mum had the most contagious laugh & always had a smile on her face, you would have never known she was fighting this horrible diease!
Living at home with my mum seeing the positivity from her, we were fighting this together and making sure nothing was getting us down! some of my family were worried as I wasn’t accepting at how ill she really was and as things got worse, I did start to realise how unwell she was
In October 2017 we sadly lost the most amazing mum, gran, sister, friend that any of us had known https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💛" title="Yellow heart" aria-label="Emoji: Yellow heart"> my world had come crashing down. I couldn’t sleep without waking up throughout the night, feeling like I couldn’t breathe, I was exhausted emotionally & physically & I felt broken
I returned to work a few weeks after my mums funeral to take my mind off of things, continued my social life as normal & if anyone mentioned her I’d change the subject quickly or shut them off so they wouldn’t see me sad or upset but see me as the ‘happy person’ I always am
I refused any help offered from family & my own doctor, I didn’t want to admit I was struggling emotionally or physically! As time went by, my mums birthday, Xmas & other things happening in my personal life, I started to crack and it really sank in she was no longer here
I decided it was time for help & I began a counselling course through my work which really really helped me, my doctor gave me advice to help with the horrible panic attacks & i would openly speak to my family or friends about my feelings & life started to feel “normal” again
By the end of 2018 / early 2019 I finally felt happier than I did for years, I began enjoying nights out with my friends again, I spontaneously quit my job I hated & got myself a new job that I love & I met my amazing boyfriend who I feel so lucky to have https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts"> (soppy I know, soz)
There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about my mum https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👼" title="Baby angel" aria-label="Emoji: Baby angel"> she really was the best mum in the world, and she is missed so much by everyone https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Pensive face" aria-label="Emoji: Pensive face"> .. she has missed out on so much these last few years, but we know she will be watching over & will be extremely proud of us all https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💘" title="Heart with arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Heart with arrow">
Speaking to someone really does make a difference!! Whether it’s a family member, a friend, a doctor or a stranger - please speak to someone if you are struggling .. I’m always more than happy to speak to anyone who needs someone to speak too! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😘" title="Face throwing a kiss" aria-label="Emoji: Face throwing a kiss">
