I’ve learned to live with a weaken immune system. I got used to being chronically sick, to have my family vaccinated themselves to help me with the flu, to always be some degree of sick, to take weeks to fight a simple cold & have it most of the time worsen in bigger infections.

But during this pandemic the anxiety the virus is causing me is... paralyzing. I can die so, so easily of this virus. & I have no idea when I’ll be safe again. I’ve struggled for YEARS in an unsafe environment for very different reasons & its only been such a short time since

I’ve managed to feel safe in my daily life. & now there’s a new, very real threat to my life. It was easier to deal with being scared constantly when I didn’t know what it was to feel otherwise. But I’ve felt safe. I’ve known peace. & to have terror again daily is fucking heavy.

There’s no point to this thread. I’m just overwhelmed, mad at everyone who’s not taking this pandemic seriously, angry at my body for failing me, at my anxiety for making me so damn terrified. But how could I not be terrified?