Happy Saturday to everyone except the man who came and sat next to me, a lone woman, on a completely empty train at twenty to seven this morning, blocking me in to the window. I don't generally condone violence but I hope your shin hurts all day, and your ego even more so.

And the other one who made a beeline as I was walking down an enormous empty high street, to get in my face and leer good morning. You can have a rubbish day and all.

I did think my hair was a bit sexy this morning but Christ, apparently it shouldn't be allowed out of the house.