This was the best Ramadan of my adult life alhamdulillah

I accomplished my 3 main Ramadan goals with an almost miraculous ease I never imagined would happen for me

I don’t really tweet about my personal relationship with Islam anymore because last time I did that somebody on here DM’d me essays of hate and told me I’d go to hell

But yeah I’ve struggled with my iman over the years, I question things (maybe too much, and I’m not someone who was blessed with being born in a Muslim community. I didn’t really have Muslim friends till college and tbh I still don’t really have that many

I’ve strayed away from Islam many times, as a lot of us have, but I come back to it every time. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident. I literally cannot take Islam out of me

I wasn’t looking forward to this Ramadan tbh. I don’t get excited like other ppl. It usually sucks for me and it’s really hard. Not the abstaining from things part. I can abstain from anything for how ever long. But I struggle with connecting with God

Seeing other ppl’s threads about how spiritual Ramadan is for them lowkey made me sad in the past because I’d be like wow why can’t that be me. Like I do the same actions and don’t get the same result. I wondered what was wrong with me

But the night before this Ramadan started, I made a few goals for myself and told myself I was gonna take it incredibly serious and act like it was the last one of my life (maybe dramatic, but with the pandemic and all idk)

So yeah literally everyday I’d wake up and my purpose was to worship God and focus on God and I gave up a lot to make sure I did that. I looked forward to praying on time. And learning new things

Idk if being at home all the time helped me connect with God or being in the middle of a pandemic but whatever it was, I’m thankful it worked out

Me reading what I just tweeted above https://twitter.com/korratate/status/1263907938759962624?s=21