Unearned and/or rushed companionate intimacy makes me clam up.

Like potential romantic partners in person. Niggas be tryna watch movies and rub yo back while doing it as if y'all been married five years. It makes me think I've become a figment of someone's projections once again.

At this point in whatever love life I could even conceive of undertaking in the future, it's an immediate shutdown when someone makes me think I'm on a pedestal or like they only have this surface idea of me. Physical intimacy can do that for me.

Basically I want someone to get to know me. Not just see the loud, funny, frenetic, partystarting firebrand and I become your manic pixie dream bottom.

That's why I connect with Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind so much. SO many people have tried to make me a concept.