Can i rant here about what happened for the past month

I’ve left my partner yesterday night. As much as I enjoy cuckqueening, my ex found a babygirl in SA. Which later he took off my name from his fet profile & states he’s single. The girl turns out to have a fet profile as well.

Its been a hard 2 months for us due to the lockdown in both countries; he’s in London while I’m at Malaysia. I’m a very generous princess with my man, but I will never allow steady romantice relationship buds out from fwb with my man/me.

I love him as a man, not just sex. Of his kindness, potential, generosity, smiles, cheerfulness, rational pushy attitudes. And when i say love, i believe in old school true love.

But there’s a very dark and unreliable side in him when it comes to involving & treating women.

When i first met him back on February, he was sick from day 1 until around week 2 (not due to corona). Which due to taking care of him, i got it as well at the end of his sickness.
I pet him to bed, cooked for him, washed clothes, make him his coffee etc

On the first night i got sick, while I’m writhing my headache due to high fever, he never came home. Around 7pm, i texted, the replies are videos of him dancing and partying in the club....
I was truly heartbroken and insulted at that time.

I was ok being left alone, really.
But what I’m never okay is he sends videos of him partying. Which later i found out he spent that night with two girls at a hotel.
While i was terribly in high fever. From that night, i resented him & goes into my hermit mode.

Which makes him agitated because he thinks by taking care of me for two days is enough for forgiveness. That is never okay, for me.
For week 2-almost end of week 4, i do things alone, go out alone, meet other slaves n subs.

N another suprise is, on weekend of week 3, he told me he’s going to a beach & texted me that night “Shall i make u jealous?”
I was a cool-headed person, i said yes, go on.
But he backed down.
Instinctively i knew something bad is up.

When he returned on next Mon, we have great sex, i was happy because he was happy. Positivity !
Then he confessed he actually went with a girl there. I’m a health conscious person, i was furios because i dont want to get siflis or hpv. I dont even know the girl??

I do admits i meet my ex-sub when I’m with him. This is not for revenge, or missing my ex-sub. Its more on old pity. That is another dramatic story i will share in different thread.

My ex (S) turns out to be fucking the girl because i kept quiet and left him alone. Revengeful.

I don’t see any fault of me other than my refusal to talk to him. I was in my weakest physical state and i get insulted after i took care of his sickness for almost two weeks. There’s limit to my coolness.

That last great sex before he left to London (work calling )is what makes us bonded more and starts to falls in love, real love.
We even planned to go to skying at Sofia until the corona lockdown happened

It was good online blablabla we even declared our relationship in fet. He gave me his fet account, i wrote about adoring him, what we want to seek in slaves (male & female) until few fundamental issues of both our attitudes shown.

He once bring a girl slave which he belted in our flat, after she repeatedly touched him in front of me. I’m a very cool person to not react. I’m a woman, i knew how woman react when they’re falls in love n she’s not my slave. She’s his.

The redflag is she’s blocked him after she heartbroken about who i truly am and he fucked another girl on the beach. I never see their convo, but he clearly promised the slave big things & adoration that she falls in love with him. I was uneased. This is another kind girl.

This dark side of him treating women is making me confused and baffled. I like mental games, so seeking the answers to why he’s doing this or how fat he’s going to take is exciting internally for me. I was looking into the glass house

The distance, my critism nonchalant behaviour, his hot and cold behaviour (a Gemini ) and he actively seeking other girl slaves (supposedly for us) makes our relationship strained af. Until this new babygirl (D) he founds.

Now D is really kinky, i love that. She’s in sm for almost 10 years. That’s impressive. A sub, a slave, hot pretty. I’m not a girl that’s insecure with other women, I applauded. We seems to found what we want until she wants monogamous.

Thus, S tries cut it off with me, yet he didn’t dare to finish it. As a cool person, i can accept being pushed away n just blocked because i knew what’s happening (no cheating).
I was practically in the other side of the world now.

Blablabla, we get into timeout, but then he always ends up with breaking up. Now, at this point my true love for him clouded over by my desire to find out his mind games . I simply say “No. We’re not done.” I was playing his game without his knowledge.

As sadistic yet little princess, i love seeking my limits. I “begged” him, “try” consoling him, but its all just without pure love. Everytime he said he’s leaving, i got him hooked back to interact with me. Now this is where it get more interesting yet ugly from my pov.

I was being a clingy little and a cool lover to the point he shared with me about D’s trauma and send me private photo of D in towel.
Now, if i still love him, I would be lovingly accepting, because my love shares secrets with me.
Not this one.

Few days before, i was repeatedly told off “I dont want to care of you.””We’re done.””Find another man””Leave me”
And he’s telling me “D is my babygirl. Not you. U will lick her pussy”
Yet, i got private picture of D.
Whats that say about S?

I was the woman that S intends to leave,hate and stop putting his care into, yet he spills secrets about D with me.
That is in person’s core, bad.
It means the true nature of the person is evil. Not sadist, but evil. (This convo for the sake of discussion with my friend)

Again, for context, i saw whatever he’s doing to other women even way before this n towards me. It’s not bugging me until above happened. I was the girl he didn’t want in his life anymore yet i get him to impressed me.

I mean this is a private picture solely send to him by D yet i get it easily just like that?
This is breaching D privacy. I was deeply bugged by this.
This is disrespecting the girl he claimed to love.

Not only that, S also urged me to text D and said “She gonna put you down”.
I laughed because a true woman wont put down another woman, especially one she didn’t know personally. S indirectly implied D is insecure girl, which tarnished both their image more.

This has set off me to stop with him permanently. I was holding few issues, like his negative criticism of my life or accusing I’m not a motivated person. I just preferred to do things silently in my life. I took boxing, try muay thai & jiujitsu but never post it online.

Now, supposedly S & D r together for bank holiday 3days camping. He even said “I’m gonna block you. See u next weekend.” But he never did until now
Now, If I’m an evil person, i would already contact D. I’m just a kind nice cool girl that hold people’s secrets.

I’m trustworthy and kind, yes. So when people that doesn’t want to involve with me yet shared about their life and partners stories, I think they should asked their own soul and admits i am important in their life. That i am precious for them.

The core of a person will always shown. Nature will always takes it course. Some bad things is easy to forgives, some are not. When some ethics gets breached, I will not continue. It is disturbing.

I’m not mad or angry at S. I didn’t even wish S & D bad things in their life or their relationship to stop. I cut off and gave absolute freedom for S to pursue with D because inside S, he doesn’t want to leave me. In next 6 months, i will reactivate my fet. I can’t be there now.

This thread is showing that dark terrible side of S in treating women. And my stubbornness haha. I’m not a complete partner for him, but I didn’t want other women gets hurt by “my man.” A man should protect. I can only pray good things for S soul now.