after a certain point I’ll stop responding, but here you go, learn from my fails

(ALSO NOTE: I do not condone ANY of these horror stories I am about to tweet about)

my first costume ever, Xelloss (Slayers). I didn’t even use a sewing machine and made the under cape from a length of unhemmed broadcloth tied around my neck. The capelet was decorated with acrylic paint and felt. It was way too lightweight so I weighted it with HOT GLUED COINS

Also with my early Xelloss costume, I didn’t bother to get a wig cause “I already have the right hair cut!” So I put purple and black hairspray on my blonde hair. Yeahhhhhhhh

My second costume, Mimete from Sailor Moon. I made some big sewing and wig flubs but the worst fail by a long shot? The outfit is a tube top and hip hugging skirt with a connecting piece. I tried to hot glue the piece to its matching fabric points... dropped the gun on my skin

I still have a glue gun tip sized scar near my belly button and it’s only luck that I scar about the same color as my skin, because that would be super visible otherwise! It’s the only costume to have ever scarred me

4) in most of my early costumes that involved any sort of heel, I didn’t realize that it was a heinously foolish idea to buy shoes where the arch hit correctly (generally size 9) but were otherwise way too big (I’m a 7.5)

you can imagine how painful this got

Actually, I still struggle with finding heels that are the right width, length, and arch height. It’s like some sort of “pick only two” triangle meme. Please send help.

5) Ruby Moon from Cardcaptor Sakura

I mean, just look at this wig. And the extreme lack of makeup. And what a mess the wings are. I was sixteen years old.

Awful unflattering no makeup issues aside, at least I eventually fixed my wig and wings somewhat by throwing the old ones out! Still not something I’m proud of, but this proves that you CAN improve!

6) FMA 2003 Wrath, take 1

2003 Wrath has different colored limbs as a plot point. Not that I would ever do this now, but if I did, it sure wouldn’t be with spray on pantyhose. It rubbed off on things and left my tub an entire mess.

7) Ed Elric, for a two in one fail

My wig was an absolute piece of garbage (and I sure replaced it), but also I let a friend who was into backyard smithing make me an automail. He didn’t use flat back rivets. I got glomped. This is how I got bone bruises

8) Howl’s Moving Castle, fail number one

At his costume was way too advanced for me in the first place, and I made some terrible fabric decisions, but the real issue is how badly I procrastinated and what that did to the sewing quality and my health.

I lost control of how many r*d b*lls I was drinking (ah, that ADHD self medicating thing) and managed to give myself low grade stimulant poisoning. I was awake for 48 hours during which I could barely eat or even drink sips of water, and you can SEE it

9) joke cosplay/self closeted bisexual fail

I had the GENIUS IDEA of trying to make the worst Sanji costume possible and only eat heart shaped lollipops while being “in character” to offer hand made cookies to cute girls

it didn’t read as a joke, and re: the cookies;

10) closet cosplay fail

some friends of mine were doing a S*ndm*n group (I’m not summoning that author, he vanity searches) and I decided to make an “original version Del*rium”

this is what I made

11) When I debuted this costume, I listened to a friend who said I could totally put non rx red lenses over my rx clear lenses. It took about 25 minutes before I realized I had made the worst mistake ever and this is a large part of why I’m so fucking harsh on eye crimes

12) my barely 18 self thought it was totally cool to wear this on the con floor since the event was 18+. Badly made “outfit” featuring stolen hotel towel + atrocious wig + unsafe binding = wtf was I even THINKING

13) speaking of “wtf was I even THINKING”.......

featuring absurd amounts of sugar free jello and bad shoop to hide my chest and the tape I was using to keep it kind of in line... and I honestly was SHOCKED to find out some people thought this was sexy “because Howl is a guy!”

14) FMA 2003 Wrath, take 2

not only was I still attempting to do the multi toned limbs effect (and I am so sorry to everyone I hurt by this), I couldn’t get the stripes to stay on my thighs with my regular adhesive. I used superglue.

Do not darken skin. Do not superglue skin.

15) Suzi Q, 2007

now for a not racist fail

left my wig back in NorCal, bought gold blonde hairspray at AX, proceeded to get recognized by zero people. Also the apron was made so horribly.......

16) Judeau, Berserk

I didn’t realize that 100% cotton thread isn’t quite as strong as cotton poly thread, which lead to me splitting the back seam of my pants and then having to perform with my crotch safety pinned together.

17) Giorno fails of 2007, part 1

styled wig the night before, kept the heart in place with fashion tape that kept coming unstuck, overdid the ab and thigh workout from the posing time a degree I had trouble walking for days

18) Giorno fails of 2007, part 2

took him on a flight to a con. Didn’t realize that my peppermint Castile soap had leaked into the contact case until I put in a minty soapy contact. Ripped skin off w/tape binding in the shower and immediately got hot water and soap in the wound.

19) Giorno fails of 2007, part 3

didn’t realize exactly how serious “do not get E6000 on bare skin” is. Gave myself poisoning. Pic from not 2007 because the real ones, you can see I was poisoned.

20) made this bad Rohan costume and accidentally reversed where the bottom two radicals go when I was applying the kanji. I fixed it with photoshop but it was definitely backwards and I got called on it by some quite angry Chinese tourists

clarifying btw

the angry tourists were right; I WAS disrespecting the language, even if it was with zero malice intended. I spent the rest of the day feeling ashamed of myself and I never wore this costume again.

21) Jonathan Joestar (PS2)

bad wig, yeah, but the jacket and the vest are possibly the worst things I’ve made. I was using a pattern from Cosmode magazine and didn’t bother doing a mock-up which is how I had sleeve holes much bigger than the sleeves. (cont)

I hid the inevitable gathering on the back of the jacket and attempted to camouflage it with some ginormous shoulder pads. I also gave up trying to make my machine do buttonholes on that hell satin of the vest, so the buttons are safety pinned through the shank from the back.

22) Johnny Joestar

This is the year I attempted to make four SBR costumes in two months. I thought I could get away with wearing this without the pants elastic just to the gathering. Yeahhhhh I definitely showed my butt on mistake and was absolutely humiliated

22) im@s failure

wanna see what happens when you use the wrong fabrics (it’s quilter cotton and confetti dot mesh), don’t have enough mockups, assemble in a rush, have a terrible wig, and have been up all night with food poisoning before your shoot?

This. This is what happens.

needless to say it looked a LOT better once I redid most of it, got a better wig, and wasn’t extremely sick when the photo was taken

23) my grey tights I ordered didn’t come in time so I decided to paint my legs with pax

do not paint your legs with pax

also I’m never wearing horns this big again; April did an amazing job on them and they were as light as possible but wow that was extremely bad for my neck

24) I was taking some photos of this costume in a hotel lobby near a cactus and didn’t realize the cactus had a ton of invisible spines it had shed on the ground

I got a butt and hand full of cactus and had to go to the doctor

25) I had some really cute clunky loafers from the thrift store that I had painted blue and white to match the character.... I got a block from my hotel before the heels started crumbling, which is something I’ve never seen before or since

had to wear my Jonathan Joestar loafers

CW: CAR CRASH

26) I got into an accident less than a month before ALA and had SEVERE whiplash but I convinced myself I would be fine wearing a Tsuyu wig for two days anyway

narrator’s note: I was not fine

27) here’s a two for one!

both of these costumes suffered from the same issue: the satin I used stretched out from wear, making them both eventually unwearable. I had so many safety pins to prevent malfunctions. SO MANY

28) I cosplayed from Osomatsu-san.

29) I really love using multiple textures on simple costumes so the red lining on my cape is micro suede. I tried to press open the shoulder seam and discovered that any ironing whatsoever scorched the suede, so there’s a burn mark hidden on the underside. WELP

30) I’m ending this thread with the big bad granddaddy of all cosplay fails... WHITE SNAKE. This one is going to take multiple tweets to explain what went wrong so buckle in, it’s going to get real wild real fast.

I was trying to match the height of my friend as Pucci who’s about 7” taller than me, so the shoes had 5” of wedge heel and then a further 1.5” of heel lift insert. By the end of the day, my feet had cramped into an arch so badly that I had to be carried into the tub.

I was partially glued into my costume because my planned attachment method failed day of. The collar’s design meant if I slouched AT ALL I got stabbed by metal spikes on the underside of my chin. And then there’s the mask. The goddamn mask that nearly killed me.

I made some BAD design choices that meant that it was impossible to breathe when I cocked my head to the side and lifted my chin. You know, White Snake’s signature pose. I couldn’t see well and couldn’t hear and my speech was muffled, and it bruised the bridge of my nose.