This news about Doja cat is really disappointing, but it underscores how important it is as a Black person to be EXTTEMELY careful and thoughtful if you want to date/reproduce interracially.

We all have heard about how many mixed kids with white parents often struggle to connect with their white side. This is especially true if the black parent (often the father) isn’t proactive about sharing their culture and instilling a sense of pro-blackness in them.

Doja is a perfect example of a mixed kid who suffers from internalized anti-blackness. She was raised exclusively by her white mother. Regardless of whether or not her mom was racist, the truth is that 99.9% of white people are not pro black and cannot raise a child that way.

As a Black person, you have to be conscious of the racial politics your interracial partner holds bc it won’t affect only you. It affects your child singnificantly. You can be as pro-Black as you want, but if your partner is (subconsciously)racist, there’s no way to overcome it.

And things are only exacerbated if you, the PoC parent, choose to leave. Now your child is left with a parent who can’t relate to them racially, and they have to manage their hurt, abandonment, and rejection at the hands of their primary example of Blackness.

I’m all for interracial relationships and parenting, but you have to keep in mind that if you are the Black parent, you will likely be that child’s primary (and sometimes only) window into Blackness. You must handle it responsibly and be with someone who will support you in that.