I was going to upload today but I didnt just coz I don't feel like it. Some days I have the energy to make 2 videos. Others I'm re-watching old YouTube videos just feeling shit af.

Sometimes I may not feels like it for a week and then after that stick to a schedule for a month. I'm starting to feel that YouTube isn't as fun as I think it should.

I may try to stick to a schedule idk. I'll try to upload in the next few days but I dunno. Legit yesterday I was saying I wanted to be on a grind but sometimes the idea of uploading depresses me but at over times I want to do it.

When I didn't upload for 2 months I thought that my channel was dead so I had no motivation or anything and I just gave up. And before that I had my best month in ages. I just don't know what's up.

Sometimes I just have good fun with friends on PS4. But when I go to bed that night I hate myself for not uploading and I say to myself if I don't upload tomorrow my channels dead and then I still don't upload tomorrow. And it just ruins me.

I think as a small youtuber with 210 subs I shouldnt be that concerned about these things because when I come back my views and stuff is just fine.

Idk overall I created this thread on what I think could be completely different tomorrow but I might think the same shit again a few days after that. I just dunno.