#bcafc loan and short term filler signings shit XI. Far too many to choose from but here goes...

GK. Simon Eastwood. Way out of his depth. Useless at everything. Looked homeless, played like he was homeless.

RB. Thomas Harban. The full back equivalent of Ben Muirhead. Fucking useless.

LB. Rob Kozluk. Don't know what position he was meant to be but it wasn't left back that's for sure. Was about 43 when we signed him for half a season. Shite.

CB. Oliver Gill. Loaned from Man Utd. Had to play, built into his contract. He wasn't that bad but we were such a bad influence on him he quit football following his brief loan spell.

CB. TJ Moncur. What's that coming over the hill? That's right it's yet another shit player we signed on loan. Ended up at Cray fucking Wanderers.

RM. Andy Haworth. We loaned this guy from Bury. Bury FFS. Green boots though. He played for Guiseley after us so at least he stepped up a level.

LM. Harpel fucking Singh. Soft as shit and twice as useless. This hot prospect fizzled out at Dundalk in his mid 20's.

CM. Chris Taylor. We tried to sign this useless twat but complications that he'd played in a pub league embarrassed us out of it. We then went BACK in for him! Shambles.

STR. Taylor is that good he can boss the midfield on his own. We're going 3 up top. First up Paul Mullin. Confirmation of our fall from grace came when we started loaning 35 year old's from Accrington fucking Stanley. Seemed a nice guy did Paul, proper shit at football sadly!

STR. Joining tall Paul up front is Diddy David Brown. 4'5" and 6 stone wet through. Absolute piss take, looked like a frigging ball boy.

STR. Last but not least here comes the hot stepper "murderer" Gavin Grant. We managed to sign this shithouse without realising he was gonna get sent down for fucking murder. Currently serving 25 years at your majesty's pleasure.