I can't help but to feel very worried about my apparent lack of ... something to even relate or form bonds with my peers in general.

I know i struggle with forming social bonds but when i do i feel like i did so by very different means .

I noticed the issue last year when i was at Guadalajara. A friend of mine met an artist that came from abroad and told me how they spent some time talking about art and technique and bonded over it.

I realized that i can't do that it seems.

Another friend i see them talking with other artists about skills, their works and all that. But when we talk it is always about animals and funny pictures with animals.

I never studied art, it was all self thaught and practice on my own. I am worried i don't have the spark.

I mean... most of the people i talk to are just gamers, writters or people trying to learn to draw or make comics.

I barely got interactions with other artists... and as i said it worries me.

I see them all the time just talking to others.

And when i try to reach out i am pretty much ignored with not a reply. It happens online and with people in real life.

I always wonder... are they busy? Are they shy? Am i not good enough? They do reply to "better" artists...

These thought never leave me.

I am aware i am full of self doubt due to the issues i had growing up and that may have stunted my social skills quite a bit.

But the fact that i rarerly if ever get to talk to other creators or about the craft leaves me fearing i am an outsider.

Now, don't taket his as me dissing the people that i do interact with. I value them a lot and it means a lot to me.

I just... can't help but to worry that i lack THE THING to actually be ralatable to other creators.

Feel like i am always the silent guy in the corner at parties.

Been sort of feeling this pressure building up since last week inside my head and i have tried to ignore it.

Guess i can't really just pretend i don't feel this way and it worries me.

Hopefully i will have something more upbeat or nicer to read next time i write a full thread.