Welp. Fourth kernel panic in 24 hours. Never updating any version of macOS past whatever hotfix they're gonna push for this. It's like using a Windows computer jfc.

First kernel panic on Mac OS Mojave. Great.

Seeing as this is happening on Mojave and there is little of a trace of this being a known problem as in 10.15.4, I reset the NVRAM, ran an Apple Hardware Test, and the next suspect is a new sound interface I just connected last week. Let's see if I don't KP with it disconnected.

Plot twist: Triangulated the issue to (at least) one 16GB unit of OWC RAM.

Ran Rember and started triangulating which of the four banks was faulty.

Result: a perfect loop of kernel panics