Read on Twitter
tw: talk of eating dis*rder, self h*rm, s*ici*e and depres*ion & anxi*ty.
a thread on what stray kids mean to me
a thread on what stray kids mean to me
first off, i found stray kids through chan. a video of him came up on my timeline of him telling stays to not hurt themselves but to come to him instead. this immediately caught my attention considering how much i struggle with self h*rm.
i feel like it was a sign that i saw that video, i wasn’t even a day clean when i found it, and i was considering doing it again, but i felt such a connection with chan that i decided not to. then, the next day, chan went live again. which i wasn’t expecting at all
i was very new to the fandom and only knew one song, so i didn’t even really know what chans room were. little did i know it saved me that day. he said so many things that comforted me, he made me feel safe and i barely knew him.
i then started getting more and more into them. i found out how much they talked about issues that i deal with, so i felt a deep connection already. then after getting into them for a few weeks, i had one of the hardest weeks of my life. everything in my life was falling apart
my eating dis*rder was getting worse and worse. i was not eating at all. i was self h*rming worse than ever before, and su*cide was a constant thought on my mind. then jisung and changbin went live. which even though it was all korean i felt so safe
i watched the whole live, beginning to end and it distracted me from all the bad shit that was happening. after watching it i decided to binge watch their lives. next thing i knew i felt just a little bit better, it was like medicine to me.
the next morning was pretty rough too, and then i came across grow up. telling me to never give up, and to keep going for them. i listened to this song on repeat for hours while crying. it was like an emotional release. i felt safe after.
my anxiety was also very bad at this time to where i was having 2-3 panic attacks a day. astronaut was my safe song, and still is. it give me a sense of home and security. it never fails to calm me down
long story short, @Stray_Kids saved me. and i know i will probably never get to thank them in real life, but just knowing that im still here to share my story is incredible. im still struggling and i will most likely continue to struggle with all these things+
but knowing i have stray kids and stays by my side, makes everything a little less painful. so as this thread comes to a close, thank you @Stray_Kids and thank you stays. for being my safe place, for being my home. i will cherish and love you all forever.
