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Today& #39;s my dad& #39;s birthday. I miss him so much, so here& #39;s a thread about my favorite Gemini (CW - grief, aging, death):
Over the past few years, I& #39;ve been talking about grief a lot. A sad reality about this adulthood business is that we inevitably join this awful club of folks who& #39;ve lost people dear to them.
My dad was pretty acquainted with grief, too. By the time we lost him, he& #39;d buried both of his parents, two of his siblings, two nephews that he& #39;d raised a sons, both of his parents-in-law, and a long list of close friends and extended family
He kept his emotions very close to his chest. I was always struck by the times when he did open up to me. We talked about a lot of things during the many times we found ourselves both perched in the living room with books in our laps (sometimes diff copies of the same book 
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It is no secret that my dad was my favorite human. I found him unendingly fascinating. At times, he was overwhelmingly frustrating. He was, unquestionably, a genius. I am so proud to be in his field, though I make no claims to follow in his footsteps. Nobody replaces the doyen
We did talk shop over the years. I tried to resist specializing in African & Caribbean lit in college. I wanted to major in anthropology. My dad, in his trademark direct manner said, "Anthropology is a colonial endeavor" and that was that. French and Comp Lit it was
He himself was trained as a sociologist. This impacted how he read literature. You can see it in his writing throughout his long career. Literature had utility as a social object. Aesthetics were important, sure (he def *loved* beautiful things). But beauty has meaning, too
I think this is part of why he approached academia and intellectual inquiry in a social manner, too. I& #39;ve spoken elsewhere about how my dad gathered ppl. He was always surrounded by colleagues, mentees, friends, and admirers. Ppl were always coming in & out of the places he lived
He edited many *major* journals in literary studies. And I have witnessed many instances of him deliberately seeking out younger, up-and-coming scholars to publish in these journals. He would, in some cases, chase them down to get their papers
I& #39;ve been in grad school for 5 years. He& #39;s been gone for 3 of those years. And still, I& #39;m running up on reminders of how his community was vast and widespread. Ppl are still popping up with stories of how he bolstered them as early career academics
Our last name is pretty uncommon, so folks are always asking me if we& #39;re related. I am always proud to say, "yes, he was my father." He modelled a way to do this work with care. I feel called to carry on that legacy
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