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a thread about my admiration for him;
it all started when i got a heartbreak with my crush, so in order to move on, i diverted my attention in other things. then one day, i went to our school canteen, and while waiting for my food to be cooked, one of my friends from stem came together with his two friends.
one of them caught my attention... he was my schoolmate way back jhs, he has a girlfriend when we were grade 10 so i really don't give a fuck about him before.
this guy got the looks, that's why a lot of girls are admiring him. days passed by, i saw him again, together with his bestfriend. then another days passed by, i saw him again and again. i lost count on how many times i stared at him from afar.
then one day, i've realized that i'm secretly admiring this person. i told my friends about it, i said that i have a crush on this guy, so they chatted him using my phone. they say "hi" to him and fortunately, he replied!!!! he also said "hi",+++
i panicked that time so i said "kaklase ko po yun," my friends snatched my phone again and they typed "ang pogi mo daw po kasi", i was so embarassed that time so i instantly type "sorry, kaklase ko din po yun," he only replied "aaa sige" so the conversation ends.
then one day, me and my friend are talking about our ideal guy, surprisingly, we both like the same characteristics so i said "si ****** ganon," and she agreed.
days passed by, she admitted that she likes that guy also. i thought he's just my happy crush so i joked "sige hati tayo,"
then another day came, my friend is jumping from happiness kasi may picture na daw sila ng crush nya. i asked her kung pano sya nagpapicture then she said yung mga kabigan daw namin yung tumulong.
after that, she's always mentioning the name of that guy so that's why my friends are now teasing her with him.
i kinda feel sad that time because they set aside my feelings. i was like "paano ako e gusto ko rin yon," i kept my silence, hinayaan ko na lang. i just admire him with my own.
(but i don't wanna be a hypocrite, hindi okay sakin yon pero what should i do, e my friends supports her.)
i wanted to do the first move pero my pride and my shyness are always eating me up.
until one day, my friend chatted him na... and to cut the long story short, they've been chatmates for a year. i think they are comfortable with each other now so i think luck ain't really on my side...
i tried my luck before, i dmed him using this dummy acc, i just confessed everything that i wanted to say and then after that, the guiltiness is eating me becuse i feel like i'm betraying my friend.
i wanna continue my thoughts but i'm so sleepyyy so goodnight, self.
i'm doing this thread because i want to burst out all my thoughts. all my regrets. so now, i just wanna be happy for them.
+++also, i also faked my feelings for his bestfriend. i told my friends na "si *** na crush ko," i told them that because of my pride. ang sakit kasi everytime na kinikilig yung kaibigan ko because of that guy, kaya i pretended na iba na yung gusto ko para walang gulo.
so lesson learned:
hindi porket ikaw ang nauna, sayo na mapupunta.
hindi porket ikaw ang nauna, sayo na mapupunta.
imagine no, sinayang ko yung opportunity dati na ichat sya because of my shyness hahah. so all i can do rn is to regret everything na hindi ko ginawa.
i did this thread kasi this will be the last. i'm gonna use this acc for my rants and dramas in life but i will never tweet about him again.
one more thing, my friend told me na sabi mo sakanya, maraming nagkakagusto sayo because of your looks... i wouldn't deny that, u caught my attention because of your looks, but i admire u more because of the things na nalaman ko about u. thanks to your classmates and friend haha
so this is the end of my kahibangan sayo, i should stop. i want to stop. goodbye my long time crushie ;))
