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TW: Mentions Rape.
A very long thread about somethings that I have learnt.
A very long thread about somethings that I have learnt.
People who have talked to me know that I keep asking, "Is this Okay? Tell me if you don& #39;t like this joke" and I always make sure to tell people that they can draw up any sort of boundaries with me at any time, no matter how comfortable we get with one another. (1/n)
I am obviously, generally cautious that I don& #39;t say something hurtful but the painful need to be aware and cautious of what I say and how it affects people got completely solidified because of this incident:
(2/n)
(2/n)
I remember this one time I was joking around with this girl and I said something along the lines of "We& #39;re going to die alone, sad, old, grumpy, virgins - pure and untouched".
(3/n)
(3/n)
(I know it is an extremely wrong notion to attach with virginity. I didn& #39;t know any better at the time. That& #39;s for another time)
(4/n)
(4/n)
I noticed the colour drain from her face and the drastic shift in her mood. I was a little unsettled by this but she regained her composure quickly so I didn& #39;t think much of it.
(5/n)
(5/n)
When she opened up to me, one day, she mentioned this particular incident saying, "You& #39;ve no idea how much that statement hurt me that day." I still remember the crack in her voice when she said, through her tears, "I felt *dirty*."
(6/n)
(6/n)
I kept apologizing for days. I couldn& #39;t forgive myself for being the reason she had felt awful about herself. Though, she said that it wasn& #39;t my fault and that I would& #39;nt have said something like this, had I known it& #39;ll hurt her but this struck me.
(7/n)
(7/n)
So, I began thinking that there must be countless times that I would& #39;ve said something that must& #39;ve hurt people without me intending to. There are times, when we say things that we think don& #39;t mean much and the other person excuses them knowing we didn& #39;t mean them so.
(8/n)
(8/n)
However, when we choose to be insensitive we are doing a huge disservice to ourselves as human beings. We& #39;re choosing to be cruel to people around us. Because I know people won& #39;t say you& #39;re hurting them with your jokes.
(9/n)
(9/n)
They will excuse you thinking that you were not intentionally hurting them or disturbingly because they won& #39;t want to seem uptight about a so called "harmless joke".
(10/n)
(10/n)
We need to be cautious about the words we choose. Now, obviously this doesn& #39;t mean that we& #39;ve to stop joking with people. What needs to be realized is that if the words that are spoken in ignorance can be painful, think of the...
(11/n)
(11/n)
...ones chosen without the slightest regard and consideration for those around us. None of us are evil beings who derive pleasure out of hurting others. All we need is to ponder upon the words that come out of our mouth and in our writing.
(12/n)
(12/n)
This thread was clearly written from a moralistic perspective.
I sought permission before writing and sharing this here.
Sending love, positivity and prayers to everyone who has ever faced sexual abuse.
May Allah SWT bless you with peace and strength.
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(13/13)
I sought permission before writing and sharing this here.
Sending love, positivity and prayers to everyone who has ever faced sexual abuse.
May Allah SWT bless you with peace and strength.
(13/13)
