Thread:

As men, the work of dismantling and undoing the misogyny is a continuous multi-branched lifetime process.

“Practice what you preach,” although advised & highly recommended, it’s many times misunderstood as practicing is a prerequisite for preaching. Also the term “preach” has an idealistic connotation to it, which many times also creates the illusion of having to be perfect to do it+

As I said, it’s ideal if one can do that, but it’s not realistic.
Because the problem of misogyny as we know is one that’s highly complex and historical. It’s imbedded deep within our societies, families, cultures, religions, languages, politics, economics, & even personalities +

As people, men and Women alike, we grow up with it from day 1.
Women are programmed to accept their own oppression as the norm, and even the “best” “right” way.
Men are programmed to accept their role as the engine, gears, wheels, and energy for this monster. +

But something happens along the way where Women notice the chains and start fighting to unchain themselves.
Most of the time men don’t come to that realization till later or never.
Because why would anyone want to give up all that privilege? +

Do I at least get a round of applause for giving up MY very tiny individual personal share despite knowing that:
1. I shouldn’t have it in the first place.
2. It is not worth much relative to the whole system.
3. It should be the norm to not have it.
4. Guess what... +

You don’t even have the power to give up your privilege. How come?
Well, mainly because privilege is given to you through the patriarchal system in place. You don’t have the right to give it up. The best you could do is USE it against the system. +

So let me correct it, you don’t HAVE privilege, you ARE privilegED. They’re different. I promise. +

We’re all familiar with the term “Toxic Masculinity” right? Well, not all, coz ironically enough a lot of men aren’t. Because although it’s a disease highly common and infectious within the male population, its effect is one of the main causes of harm to Women. +

Please familiarize yourself with that concept if you’re not already familiar with it.
Growing up as men, we are trained to see Women as less than or an insult, and that idea becomes a tool to make us suppress our emotions, because emotions are for Women, +

And God Forbid you do something “woman-like.”
We are not trained on how to channel our emotions positively, we are trained to be superior to Women in every aspect, we are not trained to interact with the opposite sex as an equal. +

And even on a personal level, we are not trained to love or even know our love language. Causing us to become harmful insufficient partners. We become toxic, abusive, unreliable partners.
That toxicity affects us on different levels, but it’s nonetheless harmful. +

The process of undoing that toxicity is a personal journey. The process of dismantling the patriarchal system is a collective one that also requires a reflection of one’s own actions and thoughts. And they’re both a continuous lifetime process. +

It’s almost impossible to find a man who had never at some point in their life upheld that system, enabled it, supported it, or took advantage of it. Sometimes for circumstances beyond our personal control, and other times for ones very much within our control. +

Now, although we cannot change our past, we can very much change our future. You may not be able to change what you did or who you were yesterday, but you can ensure that you come to terms with it, admit to it, accept the responsibility and be held accountable for it +

And make sure you learn from it and not allow a repetition of it in the future. Not just that, you also have to make sure you work against the system. Within your small private circles or in public. Speak up against it, advocate for change, support and protect Women, +

Educate yourself about feminism and its different schools of thought, support it and identify with it.
+

Do not wait to be perfect in order to start “preaching,” because although it’d be great to be perfect and invincible, it is pretty much impossible considering the environments and systems in which we grew up. +

This is not an invitation to “cut yourself a slack” or “give yourself a break.” No. Not at all. This is a wake the hell up & stop excusing yourself for not being a better person & for supporting oppressive systems & personal traits instead of participating in dismantling it.
End.