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You've probably heard it said that you'll never find love if you don't love yourself, but have you ever thought about why it's true?
It's true because if you don't love yourself, someone loving you instantly puts you at odds with them. You can't build on that kind of foundation.
It's true because if you don't love yourself, someone loving you instantly puts you at odds with them. You can't build on that kind of foundation.
For love to work, you have to love yourself, and you also have to commit to loving yourself more and more. Your lover will always be finding new parts of you to love, many of them parts you dislike, so you've got to learn to love those parts too to avoid shutting them out.
This is the main reason why women go for 'bad boys' and fall prey to negging. If you don't love yourself and someone falls for you, then they appear pathetic because they fell in love with you, so wow. Yuck. You know you're disgusting so they must be disgusting to fall for you.
If you truly love yourself, you'll welcome someone who truly loves you. When they show up they'll slide right in, with no rejection and no bouncer at the door, just a smooth "Oh it's you! I've got a place here all ready for you."
You can learn to love yourself by making a practice of continually bringing an intimate, enthusiastic "yes" to whatever feels like the core of your being in each moment. I wrote an article on how to do this a while back if you're interested. https://medium.com/@caityjohnstone/how-to-love-yourself-98f8780da2cb
