Boundaries.

I used to think having boundaries meant I didn’t care about someone and I wasn’t a good support person. I didn’t know I needed boundaries until my own mental health started to be impacted. My gut told me when mine were being crossed.
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It wasn’t until a friend changed my view about boundaries and I learned they are good for my mental health

All healthy relationships have boundaries as they help define how others treat us but knowing and setting them are 2 very different things which hasn’t come easy for me. /2

What helped me in developing my boundaries:

1. Knowing my limits and rights in any relationship - we all have limits and past experiences where we’ve felt hurt, anger, etc, as these are when your limits are being crossed. We want to feel heard, privacy respected, valued, etc.
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2. Knowing the types of boundaries - such as material, emotional, mental, and physical. Your time, space and energy.

3. Giving myself permission to set them - this was a big one for me as I didn’t want to dissapoint others and had immense guilt. /4

4. Sharing my boundaries - others won’t know your boundaries are being crossed until you share them and you may have to be assertive and/or direct.

5. Seeking help - I received professional help to identify my boundaries because it takes time, support and energy. /5

Setting boundaries takes courage, practice and support, and there isn’t an easy answer.

Know that boundaries help protect you and it’s a priceless gift that you deserve to give yourself. It was a gift I gave myself