Back when I was in full throws of my alcoholism. I was in shape on the outside but I was a complete mess on the inside. I am edible and I am an alcoholic. I was very highly functional. I drank before this and then had about 15 free beers after this my team finished 3rd out of 50.

I was almost never sober or woke up with out a hang over. I was suicidal and felt worthless. I never showed an outward sign or if i did it was in private. During this time I put my 1911 to my head so many times my wife would hide it. I always found it. She didnt know what to do.

It took another 5 years of doing this for me to finally get help and it was totally worth it. I am noy putting this out there for praise or anything like that I am putting this out there to let people know that it does get better and as hard as it is to admit and you can live