This will be a long but very personal thread regarding one of the hardest decisions of my life:

Many of you already know that I resigned from my position at Southern Utah just over 2 months ago. I am ready to talk about how this led the start of my mental health journey

This thread is an effort to let others know that they are not alone and to encourage people to seek help and #EndTheStigma around Mental Health.

Mental illness is no joke and I have had quite the road to accept that.

For many years I was able to mask my struggle with mental illness because I was a bright and hard working guy. This facade finally became too much to keep up by about mid-October for me. My illness was taking such a toll on my body that I could not sleep.

It took everything I had to get out of bed in the morning and get ready for work. I also worked long hours and tried to keep up the facade that I was okay.

I was not okay, I had no energy and was convinced that all I had to do was grind it out.

My depression worsened the more I pushed through and came to a crisis point many times. I lost all motivation and could barely focus. I kept grinding and instead of asking for help I kept it all to myself and distanced myself from those who could have helped.

November was an incredibly dark month where there were multiple potentially suicidal episodes. I was stuck in my own mind. I couldn’t get over my depression but pressed forward with my work. The job I loved was all I had.

My lack of mental self care during this time made work near impossible and in retrospect I don’t even know how what did get done was accomplished.

I’m incredibly grateful that my interns were good at their jobs. I only regret that I had no mental capacity to give them...

... the proper leadership that they deserved.

My mental health continued to deteriorate as the calendar turned over to 2020.

I willed myself to take a step forward only to take two steps back.

At the end of February I turned in my resignation as I no longer saw hope that I could give my job the attention it deserved or perform at an acceptable level.

I even received counsel that I needed to take care of me first.

It was not the way I expected to leave SUU.

I want to thank @DebCorum, @brysonvern and all of the wonderful coaches and staff for the opportunity to be the Director of Marketing at SUU.

I cannot thank you enough for your leadership, guidance, and most importantly all the times you didn’t know that you saved my life.

If you’re reading this I want you to know if you suspect you have any mental health issues to get help.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE and you do not have to face it alone.

Leaving Athletics and SUU to begin my mental health recovery was one of the hardest decisions of my life.

I cannot help but wonder how different my life would be if I had reached out to someone when my depression started.

Since leaving my work I have been focusing on improving myself. I will continue to do so. I am not defined by my mental Illness and will continue to fight the battle of recovery.

I am hoping that over the coming months and years that I will come out victorious against my struggles and be able to make a return to working Full-Time in Intercollegiate Athletics.

I am in a much better place than I was in between October and the beginning of March.

Thank you to those who have been there for me during these unprecedented times.

Lastly if you are struggling with any kind of Mental Illness I am here for you. Please reach out! You don’t have to face your Mental Health struggle alone.

Please be wiser than me and get the help you need so that you can have happiness.