The eight stages of coronavirus recovery as told by Bridget Jones GIFs (Thread)
1. The static phase
Lying in bed coughing and staring at the ceiling. 100% radioactive, do not approach others
2. The Pac-Man phase.
Slowly migrates around house in search of paracetamol and snacks. Leaves infectious cutlery everywhere
3. The sofa phase.
Still quarantined but starts to produce low-quality work emails that are helpful to no one. Takes a break at the top of the stairs to get breath back. Enjoys luring family members into the room and a false sense of safety.
4. End of quarantine phase.
Boris says you& #39;re not infectious but is probably wrong. Stir crazy so go outdoors anyway, after upgrading from pyjamas to athleisure. Takes a break at the end of the street to catch breath.
5. Park life phase.
Managing to walk further afield but still feels apocalyptic internally. Holds breath when within 5 metres of the general public. Closest you& #39;ll ever be to being a menace to society
6. New dawn phase.
Fatigue improves, going to the supermarket is the most exciting thing you& #39;ve done in years. You make bad food decisions due to this. Karen in aisle 3 tuts when she thinks you& #39;re too close, and she& #39;s right because you& #39;re stifling a cough and are SECRETLY DEADLY
7. Resuming normal service phase.
Life returns to lockdown-style normality unless you& #39;ve managed to infect a relative and they& #39;re being pathetic. Feel safe going outdoors now but wouldn& #39;t lick a pensioner.
8. Corona who? phase.
Everyone is back to work and snogging randoms at the weekend. The 10 second rule is reinstated and enshrined in law once again. END.
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