The eight stages of coronavirus recovery as told by Bridget Jones GIFs (Thread)

1. The static phase
Lying in bed coughing and staring at the ceiling. 100% radioactive, do not approach others

2. The Pac-Man phase.
Slowly migrates around house in search of paracetamol and snacks. Leaves infectious cutlery everywhere

3. The sofa phase.
Still quarantined but starts to produce low-quality work emails that are helpful to no one. Takes a break at the top of the stairs to get breath back. Enjoys luring family members into the room and a false sense of safety.

4. End of quarantine phase.
Boris says you're not infectious but is probably wrong. Stir crazy so go outdoors anyway, after upgrading from pyjamas to athleisure. Takes a break at the end of the street to catch breath.

5. Park life phase.
Managing to walk further afield but still feels apocalyptic internally. Holds breath when within 5 metres of the general public. Closest you'll ever be to being a menace to society

6. New dawn phase.
Fatigue improves, going to the supermarket is the most exciting thing you've done in years. You make bad food decisions due to this. Karen in aisle 3 tuts when she thinks you're too close, and she's right because you're stifling a cough and are SECRETLY DEADLY

7. Resuming normal service phase.
Life returns to lockdown-style normality unless you've managed to infect a relative and they're being pathetic. Feel safe going outdoors now but wouldn't lick a pensioner.

8. Corona who? phase.
Everyone is back to work and snogging randoms at the weekend. The 10 second rule is reinstated and enshrined in law once again. END.