did you hear that the building on campus i dont like was designed by a certified prison architect

that explains why I dont like it

he wasnt even a real architect all of his licensure documents said "prison architect" its fuckin wild

he worked on three thousand prisons until my campus and only my campus specifically was able to convince him to provide his talents designing the southeast student center

his terms were "only if I can intentionally make it very unpleasant" and the college said "hell yeah dude" and they high fived it was 1968

at a meeting in design development he said "my parti for this building is 'fending off a potential student riot'" and the campus said "damn thats a great idea we've never had a riot and i don't know why the southeast student center would be the last point of defense but great"

later they agreed to value engineer out the part of the foundation that would have supported the weight of all the books in the library because they figured it would sink so slowly, the only people who would notice would be second year campus tour guides during orientation

when the building was done the prison architect visited for the first time ever

because he was too busy with the many prisons he was doing to do a site visit

and to his great shame the building had been built backwards and also they had accidentally used plans for a car park

the campus was like "damn usually in these stories this is the part where the architect kills himself immediately by like leaping from the tower he designed or climbing into a rain garden and waiting"

but instead they agreed to blame the contractor and thats the end

that explains why your campus building has giant three-inch thick solid steel doors, is one giant ramp on the inside, and all the windows are wired and four inches wide

oh your campus building doesnt have any of that? oh it's just ~kind of brutalist~? interesting

A LOT of people reading the first tweet here and saying "yeah i heard that too"