#Triggered after I digitally bumped into a piece of work that was created by someone who made life hellish for me in #gradschool

#ToxicFeministAcademia #ToxicGradSchoolActivism

It has taken a lot for me to process this.
I still haven't been able to come to terms with it. The reason I'm writing about it here and now is because I still can't believe that young womyn would create such a hostile environment for other #younhfeminists

All this happened even before I officially started #gradschool. All this was done to hold a seat in a college club. A professor was also made to take sides.

These #womyn didn't know me. They did not know my politics. But, yet all attempts were made to malign my name and my work

These #womyn hold a certain " #academicstatus" in universities in the #globalnorth

All " #risingfeministacademics" most of them were #savarna and #privileged

I will not call this "University Politics" it is propagation of patriarchal values and a patriarchal practice to gain power
& unhealthy competitive tactics ALL OF WHICH contribute to Patriarchy and NOT FEMINISM

I'm tweeting about this because it's exists in all spheres and workspaces
and yes even #feminist organizations around the world.

#FeministOrganizations that are supposed to fight the Patriarchy end up propagating it further and lend to #ToxicFeministActivism
Feminist activism which is non-inclusive, which is privileged, elitist, ignorant and #notmyfeminism

This experience greatly impacted my #mentalhealth
I was in shock and also dealing with the second wave of #metoo in India.

I wasn't able to fully detach and enjoy my experience in University because I'd see them around I also got super paranoid about being discussed

I left the club and withdrew my name for any consideration for any role.

I did not have the strength or mental capacity to confront these #womyn but when I did confront the professor they didn't have my back but #sympathised" with what I might be going through.

And when she referred to these #womyn her voice dropped to a whisper and "she was like this is how they are why don't you join the #kashmirsociety instead."

I told her that I was still navigating my identity as a #kashmirisikh and it would be way too heavy on my #Mentalhealth
and declined.

The rumors did not even spare my parents, my dad's profession was discussed by the self proclaimed #feministleft

Conversations I had with other people were discussed and used against me.

My efforts were dissed I was cancelled before I even got a chance.

Nobody in that group had the humility or basic feminist capability to directly talk to me.

The #toxicfeministacademia #toxicfeministactivism I've used previously doesn't fit right but, this is all I could come up with rn also my Twitter game is a sux.

@nihaarikaan thank you for listening to me and curating a space to discuss #toxicity in #feministworkplaces

What I am currently struggling with is separating the art form the artist.

I am.

How do I call toxic tenets of Patriarchy in #feminism out without tarnishing all that #feminism has achieved.

We have practitioners of #toxicfeministactivism as gate keepers of many Global, National and Local Opportunities and Spaces.

Many of us give up even before we start out.
(Source: from a group conversation)

It's almost as if practitioners of #toxicfeministactivism are gatekeepers of their very thing they claim to be defeating....the Patriarchy.

It's a well oiled machinery to keep a stronghold over the kind of #feministknowledge that is created and lauded.

It may seem all shiny, inclusive and diverse the "IT" and ideal form of #feministactivism but it is standing on the shoulders of burnt out #youngfeminists who have been demoralized, gaslit, emotionally broken by the very people they looked up to.

Excuse me, if my typing is very chaotic and words are all over the place or out place I am just very triggered while writing this.

Also about the #toxicfeministacademia
we don't have more language or maybe I don't know the language used to label or identify this #fakefeminism

#Feminists be fighting the #patriarchy and the wave of #toxic"feminist"activism

I don't even want to label it as feminist.

I mean can feminism be toxic?(not ref to #notallmen brigade)

What a truly #feministresponse in such a situation, a situation concerning "power" comprises of is non-hierarchical, collaboration, democratization, open discussion in a safe space.

That's all.

If you truly believe in and are fighting for a common goal you will take time to understand other people, their perspectives because together we are stronger.

To further any #feministagenda we can afford to take and give chances, empathize

Divided we fall, United we stand.

Believe #youngfeminists
when they confide in you about their experiences with #toxic"feminists".
These will be #feminists in power and have shitloads of authority or be #youngfeminists themselves.

#SaveFeminism from this #patriarchaltoxicity

There's a support group providing a safe space led by @nihaarikaan to talk about #toxic workplaces #feministworkplaces please DM her if you want to join.

Also, if it wasn't for this group I now realize I wouldn't have been able to tweet about this.

Oh and I'm not done. I thought I was but, there's more. This morning it hit me out that these womyn are also very local about Hindu fascism in these international academic spaces.

Which is great but how very hypocritical!

Hypocritical because they voted in another Hindu to lead the club someone they knew. It was not at all democratic it was pre planned.

Now you'll be thinking dude why are you bringing in religion here? Also this is student club politics matalb itna Kya hogaya, bhai?

Itna hi bahut Hai aur idhar hi call out karein toh baat hai.

Boils my blood to see them protest fascism on the streets but, they do not practice what they preach. It is convenience, it is good publicity and "Kool" and the right performance to put up.

This #activism of convenience is #toxic

You slighted someone who happened to be a religious and ethnic minority in two regions with all your might then you had the gall to host a #solidarity #protest on behalf of the people from that region. What typical ignorant mainland BS

But Rachel, how can you bring religion in? Well for most of India #hindufascism is happening now but for us #minorities it's been there from the beginning #1947
even before 1947.

We've always seen it
We've done our best to exist and survive it
I am the other at home and also in the mainland but, in the mainland I'm not a threat anymore because weren't Sikhs Hindus first? *Big Eye Roll* Didn't Sikhs fight the Mughals aren't they the Hindus Saviours?

Lost count of the number of times people(Hindus) have told me they don't know the history of their supposed "Saviours/Warriors" the "Sikhs".

I want to highlight how the new age progressive, liberal, upper caste Hindus who engage in #freekashmir and call out #hindufascism need to check themselves because your job is to amplify NOT represent.

Yes you can argue that they did not see religion and did what they did.

The point I'm making here is that certain moves by this group of #womyn goes against the tenets of the #liberalfeministleft they represent.

They became what they tried so hard to drown through their performance of what a Kool new age #liberalfeministleft upper caste Hindu is supposed to their religious, majoritarian #privilege

Dear Upper Caste Hindu #womyn & #folx your performance as the #liberalfeministleft needs to be skin-deep but it cannot be because you will never have lived our experiences, our parents struggles.

If they truly practiced what they preached there would be a democratic vote, diverse and inclusive process for the club.

Not through Social capital and networks.

These student society politics abroad reflect India's #hindutva politics

A club or society that tried so hard to be #left in the end practiced and performed the #eliteliberalfeminist
activist dance.
Which to me furthers #rightwing Patriarchal agenda #covertly

I've had acquaintances, friends scoff at my father's profession and certain #privileges it brings, while enjoying a bite of the same privilege they mocked.

Guess what buddy you have no right to judge or intellectualize someone else's life choices.

He worked hard, he got out of a system that works against him to enter another system which completely destroyed his identity but no! You never ask why he chose one oppressor over the other.

You generalized like a typical mainland fool & mocked his oppression.

You don't get to judge what minorities have had to do in order to survive when you see them attain a certain privilege.

You sit back down and shut the fuck up.

I wanted to share this because we in order to truly grow need to #check ourselves at all times.

Otherwise you're just appropriating and being #antifacist doesn't absolve you of the power and privilege you hold in all spheres of your life.

Whatever their motivation (these womyn) I'm not saying it, what happened to me was on the grounds of religion but, when you are a majority your job as a team member on #liberalfeministleft is to provide opportunity and pass the mic

To pursue and safeguard democracy otherwise what the fuck is the diff btwn you and the system you are fighting?

And yes it begins in these small student University circles.