okay cogent f&f livetweet thread

μεν the dm (jason i think?) is so talented at making even like relatively faceless mooks feel *real,* δε i am SHRIEKING with laughter at the sahuagin priestess. god this poor woman

holy shit does scamp have more hp than celestia. that's hilarious oh my god

the powergamer in me is "BUT WHY WOULD YOU DUMP CON...AS A MELEE BARD..." the story oriented player is infinitely delighted by the fact that celestia is just garbage at staying up during a fight. absolute queen

also speaking of fight survivability corzin PLEASE get some better armor this is stressing me the hell out

oh i have GOT to draw these new outfits

yelling @ this height difference, god i love them so much

these naval combat rules are BRILLIANT oh gosh

DOES CORZIN HAVE THE LUCKY FEAT OR IS HE JUST FINALLY REMEMBERING TO REROLL NAT1S AS A HALFLING??? I AM SO CONFUSED

also scamp with magic initiate: wizard? we LOVE 2 see it

rly this is on wizards of the coast because there are approx a million feats/features named some variant of “lucky”

oh my god THIS LORE DROP THOUGH

i have SO MANY QUESTIONS abt the implications of the Regent being an actual prominent historical figure who led armies and ruled nations who’s also venerated as the one true god?! like, what!!! that’s so cool!!

LOSING MY WHOLE SHIT at celestia & corzin attempting to parent scamp. this is so perfect

ugh primaeval awareness is THE WORST i will never understand why it doesn’t scale the way paladin divine sense does

one plus wis mod WOTC it’s not!! that difficult!!

is celestia gay. i feel like she’s either gay(/bi) or the most powerful straight woman in the world

listening to pump shanty directly after an episode and thinkin about...space au...

OBSESSED with this italian tief family oh my god

THE SECOND COMING OF VICTOR THE BLACK POWDER MERCHANT: JIMOTHY THE ALCHEMIST

victor the black powder merchant: chaotic good
jimothy the alchemist: lawful evil

THE WAY JASON SAYS “FLUIDS.” I DO NOT LOVE TO SEE IT

also love that, as in eberron, a significant chunk of this universe’s crime families are halflings

CELESTIA. DISSONANT WHISPERS DOES DAMAGE!!! YOU’RE GONNA KILL THIS POOR MAN

normally i’m not one for a mundane au but vaguely stranger things esque 80s small town au would be...so so cute...

scamp is yr standard accidentally-psychic high school freshman in some tiny illinois town, celestia just graduated from Juilliard and is touring the midwest doing small time gigs, corzin is a long haul truck driver engaged in some...questionably legal business practices

the shadow fight in the silken sail is so good but all i can think of is this meme

“you are NOTHING like my son” HELLO???? HELLO!!!!!!!

oh my GOD what an insanely cool backstory for a monster slayer

i LOVE when subclass choice aligns perfectly w character motives it makes me so happy

straight up corzin is what would happen if you crossed sam vimes and geralt witcher and i’m so delighted i’m SO enamoured

“we all live until the day we die” same fucking energy as “life needs things to live”

oh my god. awful gun men. morally ambiguous and driven by REVENGE...this is unfortunate

fuckin. paladin-ass ranger this is what i am HERE FOR

dark timeline corzin definitely has great old one warlock levels tho

veeeery rough composition sketch, spot the discworld reference

(guarding dark on his right shoulder, summoning dark on his left)

oh i adore molly just based on this description

WAIT. *ARTHUR* HAS A RED-HEADED GREEN-EYED WIFE NAMED MOLLY. WHAT THE HELL

aw man i look so much forwards to corzin having to navigate the family he has at home in the context of the weird little nuclear unit he has with celestia and scamp

could absolutely dig a situation a bit like monty sibella and phoebe at the end of gentleman's guide but with corzin celestia and molly, that'd be cute as hell

scamp’s lack of family early on is made up for by having two moms a dad and a baby brother. impeccable logic

maybe i’m writing a fic about it!! maybe!!

sits bolt fucking upright corzin is lovecraftian captain ahab

oh this is TOO MUCH you CANNOT give me a grim gunslinger driven by revenge who is ALSO a gruff awkward father of a young son who is ALSO a desperado on a doomed quixotic quest after an elder god!! you CANNOT give me sam vimes via lovecraft via moby dick it is ILLEGAL

i am going to SUE!! i am going to SUE for emotional damages

really enjoying the fact that in this universe halfling just sounds like two mainers talking to each other

oh GOD playing a halfling and rolling two ones in a row is the worst fucking feeling

this FUCKING PARROT is going to turn out to be plot critical i can FEEL it

this reminds me viscerally of the time during eberron i had to stop and google “what size is a bear”

oh so cavatt is basically just halfling voltaire, we love to see it

the fact that corzin's kid has his same name (much like a certain...young sam...) is leading me to hope that at some point we will get a "that is NOT. MY. COW." moment

also while we're on discworld, celestia's sibyl energy is through the absolute roof, and scamp reminds me sooooo much of early tiffany aching

also yes individually but corzin & celestia's dynamic is so much sam and sibyl...we love a wildly extravagant social genius of a woman and the baffled gruff ranger-adjacent man following in her wake

sidebar, Sam Vimes Ranger. change my mind

i wish i could animate so fkn badly because i would love to animate the trio set to blood & whiskey by the mechs...it’s perfect 4 them

“we’re not pure of heart but we’re sure of aim” !!!!!!! !!

also, because really i’ve always been this way, corzin’s backstory but with dust bowl dance by mumford and sons. someone did this for the cr whitestone arc and now i can’t get it out of my head

also...celestia to fighting fish by dessa...or bullpen...honestly pick a dessa song and it’s prob got her energy

i love that they’ve basically adopted fighty as their tank. i also love that both of the party’s tanks are mechanically small

man celestia ought to do a honeypot mission at some point. sex, drugs, and rock n roll

OH MORAG’S A GUNSLINGER FUUUUCK YES

GUNSLINGER GANG GUNSLINGER GANG GUNSLINGER GANG

“am i making you feel things” “you make me feel a lot of things” I GOTTA LIE DOWN

this fucking. birthday scene. it’s entirely killing me i love this weird little family SO MUCH

THE GEESE...CHRIST ALMIGHTY

this podcast. this podcast is just Celestia And Corzin’s Adventures In Parenting

celestia is so much “ice cream for dinner and your bedtime is never” with scamp and i love it very dearly

celestia corzin and scamp coming in guns fucking blazing for the people who hurt courage we LOVE TO SEE IT

i love all these awful fighter women though. superiority dice!!

celestia death metal screaming to cast her damage spells is so so good

SCAMP’S NAT20 OF PURE RAGE

AND FRIENDLY FIRE-ING CELESTIA IN THE PROCESS THE NARRATIVE OF IT ALL

i know i’m already on this particular bullshit but the desire to rewrite gunfight at the dolorous guard with this party and then animate something to it is overpowering

ADOLPHE SAX??????

the whiplash of looking up what an ophicleide actually is and realizing celestia has been carrying THAT on her BACK for the ENTIRE CAMPAIGN

as a tuba player, massive, massive mood

this encounter is a TOTAL CLUSTERFUCK

molly airing the entirety of their collective dirty laundry in the middle of this pub i love her already

DOES ANYONE KNOW LESSER RESTORATION!!!!!!!

an idea for one person exactly: gideon the ninth au. thanks

corzin physically interposing himself between celestia and the macdougalls has BCE*, is all i’m saying

* big cavalier energy

OH YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. YOU CAN’T!!

arthur’s family makes me emotional enough and they are CONFLICT FREE AS OF YET! DO NOT MAKE ME SAD JASON PHELPS DON’T DO IT!

this, kids, is why we play full casters!!!!

is this going to be corzin’s “that is NOT MY COW” arc. oh please god

MERRICK IS THE BOOKKEEPER?? FUUUUCK

slightly nsfw but this account is so unfiltered that i might as well. molly has the most top energy of any NPC we've met so far and i'm in love

yknow that photo of jon krasinski and his wife where someone edited the sign he's holding to say "she tops"? yeah. yeah

oh my god IT’S THE VIMES NAMING CONVENTION WITH HIS SON! FUCK!!!!

didn’t click at first bc they call him little corzin/corzin jr but IT’S JUST LIKE YOUNG SAM OHHHH MY HEART

WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING

same energy as last moonshadow session where i yelled “I KISS MY WIFE! I KISS MY WIFE ON THE LIPS!!!!!”

“do you think i could borrow him for a bit” OH MY MULTISHIPPER HEART

look at phoebe, noble & pious, etc etc etc

SCAMP HAS A LITTLE BROTHER NOW IT IS CANON

jimothy...TWO

i love lady greta

CANNOT BELIEVE THE TANK LEFT THE TWO SQUISHY FULL CASTERS ALONE AND FOR WHAT!! TO GET PEGGED BY HIS WIFE!! I MEAN I GET IT BUT STILL

with celestia’s -1 con they both have effectively d6 hit dice. jesus CHRIST

oh no and celestia is USELESS in a fight because her cha is way down and she casts w that!! fuck!!

i have no idea what spells corzin even knows at this point because it’s all hunter’s mark all the time and like i GET IT i play a paladin but i wanna know...what he can do...

this but hunter’s mark

actually i’m surprised hunter’s mark isn’t one of the spells known for monster slayers? maybe because p much every ranger is gonna take it anyway

AH FOR JUST ONE TIME I WOULD TAKE THE NORTH(east?) PASSAGE TO FIND THE HAND OF FRANKLIN REACHING FOR THE MEADMERISH SEA

franklin doesn’t exist yet but for SOME REASON a shanty based off barrett’s privateers does, so i can only infer the existence of fantasy stan rogers

ASMR jason phelps explains how tall ships work in a soothing radio announcer voice

[raises hand] i think the regret should fire off both broadsides at once and see what happens. Fuck around and find out

OHHHH THIS ENCOUNTER JUST WENT REAL BAD REAL FAST

OH FUCK BRANDY

BRANDY’S LAST STAND OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN

oh it is RANGER time bay beeeeeee

this better count as corzin’s favored terrain i am EXCITED FOR RANGER TIME

ALL OF THEM SINGING LEAVE HER JONNY LEAVE HER OH *NO*

MY HEART

my jokes abt the franklin expedition aged like SOUR FUCKIN MILK