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Gonna make a game where reloading is always faster than switching to your pistol, because I'm not a coward
Gonna make an achievement for never switching to your pistol, called "Hell Yeah, Ignore That Nerd"
I don't care
You can't stop me
I don't care
You can't stop me
Gonna write 4000 voice barks for your NPC companions so they can congratulate you on not using your pistol, which sucks, and probably committed tax evasion or something I don't f*cking know
"Hell yeah, commander! Don't EVER use that piece of shit!"
See? It took me five seconds to write that shit.
3,999 to go.
I'm unstoppable.
I literally cannot be stopped.
See? It took me five seconds to write that shit.
3,999 to go.
I'm unstoppable.
I literally cannot be stopped.
Gonna book an orchestral choir so I can have a sufficient range of voices to boo the hell out of you for using your pistol, which sucks
Every time you switch to your pistol, you permanently lose 10% of your health.
The gun starts crying when you shove it into a locker.
The gun starts crying when you shove it into a locker.
Gonna force a team of programmers to code a performant system for saving and loading a completely persistent world in a windowless bunker for thirteen years so you can return to the exact locker where you stuffed your piece of shit pistol and laugh at it
Going to script an entirely cohesive simulation of real life purely so you can bend down to any nearby pistol, whisper "reloading is faster than switching to you, you piece of shit", and walk away
If you put enough pistols into the same room, you can hear their hearts breaking
If you put enough pistols into the same room, you can hear their hearts breaking
"haha I guess u never used the pistol in halo 1 then"
stop
no
shut the fuck up
why are you in my house
no one likes you
no one likes this
leave
what are you even doing
stop
no
shut the fuck up
why are you in my house
no one likes you
no one likes this
leave
what are you even doing
"Personally, I enjoy using pistols"
yeah
and I bet you're real fun at parties, too
yeah
and I bet you're real fun at parties, too
"not all pistols--"
SHOULD EXIST
YEAH
NOT A SINGLE ONE
TAKE THEM OUT OF VIDEO GAMES
FINALLY, WE AGREE
SHOULD EXIST
YEAH
NOT A SINGLE ONE
TAKE THEM OUT OF VIDEO GAMES
FINALLY, WE AGREE
going to rise through the ranks of AAA solely so I can become director of the most popular first-person shooter franchise of all time and personally ensure the game begins with your character vomiting at the sight of the first pistol they see, because it sucks
the pistol pleads that you don't leave it alone
you slam the door shut and leave it in the dark, where it belongs
the game wins Every Award
i base jump off of a skyscraper, to my death, having finally reached complete personal and professional fulfillment
mission accomplished
you slam the door shut and leave it in the dark, where it belongs
the game wins Every Award
i base jump off of a skyscraper, to my death, having finally reached complete personal and professional fulfillment
mission accomplished
