so today I’m working through the fact that I get anxiety and consider myself helpless when I’m in tough situations WITH other people. Alone, I’m still anxious most likely but i can get it done (a lot of the time I tune out) and I was trying to figure out why...

but when I was a kid, even if I felt like I could do something, an authority figure would correct it and/or me/tell me there’s a better way to do/criticize me (not constructively).

So when I’m in a difficult situation with someone else, whether that be work or figuring out a tough parking spot, my mind immediately tells me that I’m helpless in the situation/will mess it up

but when I’m alone, I don’t feel like there’s someone else harshly judging me for what I’m doing. It’s a fear or being judged and a fear of messing things up.

Huh.

& it’s funny because this all happened because I was driving! I had to do some weird maneuvering on a very crowded street and it really just hit me like, if my bf was in the car, I would have been stressed and missed my turn and came down on myself for it

!!! WAIT THAT TOO!! even if someone else doesn’t critique me in the situation, i feel the need to do it for them. It’s like I’m finishing the job oh no

hmm. so I’m definitely working more towards affirming myself and my abilities. This issue ^ definitely correlated with my imposter syndrome and other insecurities. I have to allow myself to work through things and FAIL especially.

I don’t know how to fail gracefully.

I need to allow myself to be wrong and be not good at things. I need to allow myself to be bad at things without coming down on myself and I need to allow myself to be good at things without being upset that I’m not better at it.

lol my root and heart chakras and ACHING right now we love to see it.

oooookay and this translates to my tendency to co-depend on my partner!!! Woooooooooooow I’ve been WAITING for this one!

this thread is over but just know that I see you, I hear you, & I’m really proud of you