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It was saddening to read this Zikoko article about this brilliant woman who has had to give up her dreams because she fell pregnant early and has had little support from her husband on the domestic front. How a man will marry a diamond and keep it hidden has always baffled me.
I always advise young brothers, who ask for nuggets, to go into marriage with the aim to make their wives better than they met them. That includes supporting her dreams & doing the best at home to keep her fresh. One of the best ways to support at home is to care for children.
One of the important pre-wedding pledges I made to my briliant babe was to support her post graduate education. She was pregnant when I encouraged her to submit her application for a funded LLM in Cape Town. It was tough but her folks agreed to nurse our baby.10 months, I no die
When our daughter was born, our moms spent less than one month visiting and returned to their waiting husbands. I had to step up for her and began dressing our baby weeks after her birth. Diaper changes became second nature. Our father-daughter bond is strong, til' this day!
Even now I shoulder much of the housework and we split the cooking. My wife and daughter love my cooking as I have developed new skills to make dinner time the most important part of our evening.
See, I become creative in the kitchen, chopping & experimenting.
They love it.
See, I become creative in the kitchen, chopping & experimenting.
They love it.
My wife is completing her PhD now. Everyday she is becoming the woman she dreamt of being as a child. She is a great Mother. Wife. Youtuber. Me? I'm just there to shoot & edit. When she says we can have another baby, we will try. It's her body, she decides.
So young brothers, it saddens me to read that some of us think that when we marry that beautiful sister, all her dreams should end. Nah, you're missing the point. You're not her maker who gave her all her dreams and potential. Listen to her and help her as she helps you.
And the place of contraceptives and family planning cannot be over-emphasised in marriage. The fact that you're married doesn't mean you can't use condoms. Your woman deserves to have the best. Child bearing should be a conscious decision.
Young sisters, be careful how you choose your man. Don't ignore the red flags. If he always said he wants a housewife with a shop in front of the compound, don't think he will change and suddenly want you to have a career. Let's all be wise together. Keep your eyes open in love.
We should try to do better for each other. Give & take, upbraid and support. My wife always said she didn't want to go into a home where she would have to walk on eggshells around her husband. I try not to keep eggshells around. We fight & make up. Our goal is one. Love.
