Male artists that dudes stan just as hard or even worse than the Beyhive or Barbs: A thread

First up we have the Future Hive aka the Church of Misogyny. Future stans are pretty much harmless, not really caring about other artists and dedicating themselves to purely streaming the music of Nayvadius Wilburn.

A defining characteristic of a Future stan is being a male who got their heart broken or didn’t get chose over someone else and thusly think they can relate to Future’s lifestyle and lyrics despite lacking the money, access to drugs and/or women to do so.

Next up we have the J Cole stans. J Cole stans think that Mr. Cole is the greatest and most profound artist on the planet and you have to have a certain level of intelligence to appreciate his music. While J Cole does put out quality projects, his fans treat them like the Bible.

J Cole fans at times are on the level of BTS stans, suddenly materializing under any twitter post that mentions their idol, ready to support or defend any comment made about him. One positive is that they at least support the other artist signed to the Dreamville label as well

Third on our list is Nipsey Hussle fans. While he may Rest In Peace, his fans make sure to dig up his corpse once in a while and piss on it, tarnishing his musical legacy by plaguing the internet with idiotic social opinions so much that the emoji is now a red flag.

His fans can rarely be found discussing or streaming his actual music, but rather tweeting out entrepreneurial content while on the clock at their 9 to 5 jobs. In addition, the fan base is home to plenty of hoteps and FBMA members who end up getting dragged online.

The most dangerous stans of them all: Drake stans. Drake has gained crossover pop appeal which means not only do we have to deal with an onslaught of Black men, but also of white men ready to give their unqualified opinions on hip hop.

Drake stans are truly dangerous. Nobody tells them to stream, they do it on command. Drake could fart in a mic, upload it to iTunes and it would be platinum in 6 hours. As the great poet Kanye West once said, “No one man should have all that power.”

However, it makes sense that Drake stans value streaming so much as platinum certifications are the only argument any of them can seem to muster when defending their claim of Drake being the greatest artist of all time. Personality wise, they’re Future stans without a backbone.

Next we have the Yeezy Militia. Possibly the most battle scarred group of fans out there, not only having to deal with Ye haters but also having to deal with Kanye himself. You can’t deny the talent, but you can question the actions. Reminds me a lot of Howard students actually

Kanye Stans are split between people who accept his entire body of work and people who only acknowledge old Kanye, which is his work up to 2008 or 2010 depending on who you ask. Each side shares common ground in a mutual hatred of Taylor Swift and George W Bush.

Another true plague of music fan bases: Eminem stans. Like Elvis some 40 years before him, Eminem was hailed a legend for doing things black people had been doing for decades before him and his fans simply refuse to acknowledge that fact. Public Enemy would not approve.

Unironically, being the one who coined the term “stan,” Eminem’s are some of the worst. Typical traits include having an affinity for white women, hating their mom, a middle class upbringing & constantly ranking Eminem in the top 3 GOAT rappers convo despite falling off in 2004.

NBA Youngboy stans aka the reason we have a modern day set tripping problem. While Youngboy has undeniable talent, many of his fans would have you think he’s the second coming of Nas and Lil Wayne.

Young Kentrell’s impact is responsible for millions of crips everywhere saying slatt and calling their friends slime, as well as millions of kids who have never stepped foot in any hood much less Baton Rouge, Louisiana suddenly claiming to bang 4kt.

Chicago drill stans: I was going to do a separate post for some of these artists, but the city-state of Chicago is equally as rabid for all their artists.

Basically, say something about Chief Keef, G Herbo, Lil Durk, Lil Reese, hell any Chicago rapper really (you might be able to get away with Chance slander, however), prepare your face the wrath of the entire city-state of Chicago. They don’t care who you are.

Lil Uzi stans, aka “I’m straight but I’m too scared to call myself a bad bitch like I really want to”. While their sexuality may be ambiguous to some, what isn’t ambiguous is their love for Uzi, remaining faithful after a million Eternal Atake delays.

Uzi stans will try to copy their artist’s aesthetic, even down to the emoji usage and longing for the one that got away. They essentially have the personality of Future stans with the additions of dyed hair (+10 short locs), skinny jeans, and a designer purse.

Playboi Carti stans, aka “I’m straight and I proudly call myself a bad bitch.” These stans are peaceful, rarely engaging in drama with other people and subsisting on a healthy diet of leaked music.

Due to the amount of leaked music, it’s no real way we can gauge the true streaming power of Carti’s stans. They are extremely patient, quietly streaming Playboi Carti and Die Lit without aggressively demanding new music like other stans. Truly an example of practicing gratitude

Meek Mill stans: diet stans but with less ignorance. Faithfully streams his music, but mildly overrates his position in the GOAT convo. Typically ignores his Twitter ramblings because... yeah

6ix9ine stans: I don’t who know is streaming his music nor what purpose streaming his music holds but somehow every single he makes skyrockets to the top of the charts. He breaks social media records. He had a pedophilia charge, snitched in court and somehow still has a career

If you are one of the people streaming his music and stanning, love yourself. It’s time to stop

Thus ends my thread, unless someone tells me an artist that fits the criteria that I didn’t cover. Feel free to follow me if you feel inclined, also check out my graphic design business:
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