Read on Twitter
Trans men are culturally stuck between a rock & a hard place because most cis men give us vibes of āyouāre not really one of usā & everyone else gives us vibes of āyou chose the path of evil.ā
There's a lot of gaslighting involved from all sides, I just thought I'd mention that if you've noticed, you're not imagining it.
I don't particularly expect this to change culturally, but I find that identifying it as a cultural pattern helps me not to internalize it as much & also helps me make self-preserving decisions about just how close I want to get to a wide variety of people.
Like many marginalized minority groups, trans men are held to more rigorous standards of behavior, ethics, speech, and achievement than cis men to be accepted, and bringing this up at all gets identified as aggressive or evidence of privilege / seeking special treatment.
Also like many marginalized minority groups, trans men are punished for our successes with the message that any success proves we were never marginalized in the first place.
Another catch-22: if trans men speak up for ourselves as a group, we are labelled aggressive, privileged, whiny, or seeking special treatment, while if we keep quiet, we are labelled insufficiently masculine.
Anyway, I will end this thread before a horde comes for me ā hopefully my 9,000+ account block list will hold the gates. Have a nice day!
P.S. I underestimated the size of my block list
Iāve gotten a bunch of well-meaning replies trying to console me or give me a pep talk, but Iām not looking for emotional support from strangers on twitter. I hope this thread was useful to you in some way. Thanks!
A stranger just tagged me in as a pro-trans attack dog in response to a t*rf with over 11k followers. DO NOT ENDANGER TRANS PEOPLE BY DOING THIS.
I've blocked that stranger, the t*rf & all their followers, so hopefully I won't get brigaded
I've blocked that stranger, the t*rf & all their followers, so hopefully I won't get brigaded
As long as we're on that topic, Red Block is currently the best chrome extension for mass-blocking in these kinds of situations for safety. (I think the download page is in Korean, but it's in English once you install it, if you don't know Korean.)
If you end up in a debate about this with a reasonable person who isn't just trying to hurt you, focus on sociological data (not theory) about the material conditions of trans men's lives, especially healthcare, salaries, workplace harassment, SA & domestic abuse & self-harm.
The strategies of t*rf rhetoric depend on repeating mottos, slogans, proverbs & theory snippets that sound true because they reinforce widespread prejudice.
You can counter this with *data* about the material conditions of trans people's lives ā but it won't work on bigots.
You can counter this with *data* about the material conditions of trans people's lives ā but it won't work on bigots.
For your own sanity, try to remember that, much like ālosingā an argument against the current US president, ālosingā an argument against a transphobe doesnāt mean youāre wrong or a hellbeast ā your enemy is probably arguing in bad faith 
Iām not going to go track down all the sociological data Iāve read about this in 10 years bc thatās an entire research project, but TL;DR:
t*rfs want us all to believe that trans men gain the male privilege that cis men have
but the sociological data on our health, access to healthcare, salaries, workplace discrimination, SA, domestic violence & self-harm
dramatically contradict the t*rf claim
& is very dire
but the sociological data on our health, access to healthcare, salaries, workplace discrimination, SA, domestic violence & self-harm
dramatically contradict the t*rf claim
& is very dire
itās both true that trans men are men,
& that trans men are an underserved, institutionally oppressed, stigmatized population of men
which is a concept youāve hopefully encountered with other subsets of men, such as racially targeted groups
& that trans men are an underserved, institutionally oppressed, stigmatized population of men
which is a concept youāve hopefully encountered with other subsets of men, such as racially targeted groups
weāre not in a contest with other marginalized groups to be the most marginalized group
but part of the t*rf strategy is ādivide & conquerā
so they redirect trans menās attempts at discussing the problems facing us
by turning all convos into āsomeone else has it worseā
but part of the t*rf strategy is ādivide & conquerā
so they redirect trans menās attempts at discussing the problems facing us
by turning all convos into āsomeone else has it worseā
itās a rhetorical trick, because if we donāt prove that we actually have it worst, our concerns get dismissed
but if we do try to prove that we actually have it worst, we throw other marginalized groups under the bus, often trans women
which doubly accomplishes the t*rf goal
but if we do try to prove that we actually have it worst, we throw other marginalized groups under the bus, often trans women
which doubly accomplishes the t*rf goal
Iāve been watching this play out in person & online for *20 years*
& have no idea how to disarm it in realtime, itās an extremely effective derail
& have no idea how to disarm it in realtime, itās an extremely effective derail
This thread is the longest Iāve talked about any of these issues in public without getting derailed & Iām not sure how I pulled it off ā maybe itās that while doing damage control on this thread, I reached critical mass on my block list???
Just a reminder that thereās no particular reason why anybody should be expected to get into emotionally intimate conversations with strangers on the internet ā Iāve gotten some weird guilt trips in this thread for maintaining personal boundaries, but uh...I donāt know you?
Okay muting this thread now! Thanks for reading & tell your cats & dogs I say hi!
