Like many women in the church, plural marriage has been a difficult topic for me. For a long time I kind of put the concern on the shelf with faith that questions would be answered and I’d understand in the next life.

A very long thread*

I was blessed a few months ago to have an incredible lesson on plural marriage and many of my concerns were addressed in a faithful, loving and honest way. I want to share them with you.

The revelation came to Joseph after he petitioned the Lord. He was reading in the Bible about Abraham and other ancient prophets that had multiple wives and asked how they could be righteous men in those circumstances.

Joseph received what is now D&C 132:1

What is important to note here is that the Lord had approved of these marriages.

D&C 132:34-37 helped clarify this principle.

The Lord commanded these unions. Abraham maintained righteousness while practicing plural marriage because the Lord authorized it.

As the Lord instructed plural marriage for some of his servants, the language was very strict. From my interpretation of the law, if it was not lived in absolute accordance to those commandments, they would come under condemnation.

Only a limited number of people were commanded to live this law.

To me, it felt as though plural marriage is a sort of higher law - like concecration. With higher law comes harsher condemnation when not lived correctly.

There are no first hand accounts from Joseph or Emma on their experiences with plural marriage. All we have are 2nd or 3rd hand accounts.
This excerpt from Eliza R. Snow gives us some insight into how difficult this law was for Joseph but, he was obedient.

There is very little written record of the early saints’ experiences with polygamy.
But I did learn there were two different kinds.
1. Sealings for time and eternity - these included commitment and relationships during this life, including sexual

2. Sealings for eternity only - relationships would be in the next life

Joseph’s sealing to Helen Mar Kimball has been one many struggle with as she was only 14 years old. Helen later stated that their sealing was for eternity only.

More information on Joseph’s sealings to other women can be found here:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/foundations-of-the-restoration-class-preparation-material-2019/lesson-22-class-preparation-material-plural-marriage

But to add, several women said their sealings were eternity only.

Saints struggled with this law, as many of us do now. These quotes from Brigham Young and Lucy Walker show us just how hard this commandment was for them to live.

I feel much comfort in knowing they both received revelation that this was from God.

Of course, many people left the church because of this practice. Even with all I have learned, I still have questions.

It is important, however, that we cling to our faith. Let us have faith that the Lord has His purposes. Our cultural norms are not set by Him.

Monogamy is the Lord’s standard and polygamy was an exception. And only when God authorizes it.

Plural marriage is not necessary for exaltation.

Quote from Elder Marcus B. Nash

This lesson I had ended by the teacher admonishing us to not speak ill of those that practiced plural marriage. It is not something to be embarrassed by. These saints sacrificed so much for us and it is disrespectful to speak harshly about it.

Since this lesson, I have been trying to shift my perspective. Rather than keeping the idea from my mind I have tried to honour those that made this sacrifice for me.

Even with incomplete understanding, I have seen the good fruits from the posterity of these Saints.

Many of my ancestors practiced plural marriage and I am so grateful they chose to live God’s law even when hard. Because of them I have the gospel