(0) Happy #AAPIHeritageMonth I haven’t said much but I sure haven’t forgotten - in fact, today was supposed to be the world premiere of a piece of mine about what it means to be Asian American. In lieu I present some anecdotes that I hope y’all will still be my audience for:

1a For basically the first quarter century of my life I was deeply ashamed of being #Chinese. I was also deeply ashamed of my mom being a Chinese restaurant owner/manager. Now, more than ever, I take pride in this and it has influenced my music and my life in countless ways. #AAPI

1b Some perspective: I grew up in Titusville, FL which had an overwhelmingly white population. All of the wealthy/smart/cool (read: white) kids’ parents worked at NASA. I only recall 3 people at my high school of 1200+ students who were #Asian but I was not in classes with them.

1c I also hardly saw my mom because she worked 7 days a week at the restaurant, and when my mom and dad separated I lived with my dad. It was so hard for me to hold onto any sense of racial identity when I didn’t have any role models, friends, or even media to help me...
#AAPIHM

1d I’ve been criticized for allegedly only taking pride in my heritage now as a convenient or self-serving way, and to any of you that might agree with that I would like to say congratulations on *your* privilege: you have never dealt with the inner/outer turmoil of assimilation.

11a Anyway, this has been a novel of a thread. If this has seemed like a lot of difficulties or growing pains, it’s because there were and are plenty. But I think the future is more golden than ever As Sandra Oh has said: “it’s an honor to just be Asian.” #AAPIHeritageMonth

11b I know the kinds of racism I’ve experienced in many ways pale in comparison to those of black, hispanic, or indigenous peoples. But, I do think Asians and our struggles have largely been ignored and misunderstood, in part because the long culture of keeping our heads down.

10a Perhaps the single biggest way that I feel close to my heritage and my ma is through food. When I was younger I wanted to eat only American foods, but I have since learned the error of my ways. #AAPIHeritageMonth #AAPIHM #AAPI

10b There’s so much to still uncover, but I can remember so clearly discovering certain things for the first time and being SO UPSET that I never tried them before, and more upset I didn’t have my ma there with me - Dim Sum at 22, Hot Pot at 23, MAPO TOFU AT 27. #aapi #AAPIHM

2a One of my first experiences with being accused of “yellow peril” was my FIRST WEEK of Kindergarten. My mom had dropped me off on the first day of school so my teacher knew I was #halfasian. Teacher wasn’t even sure at first if she or I could speak English.

#AAPIHeritageMonth

2b I was assigned a seat at a table with a wealthy white girl. She had the 64 pack of crayons. I had the 12 pack. She let me borrow her crayons so I could use a blue green (in fact, I think she offered), but then accused me of stealing her crayons.
#AAPIHeritageMonth

2c The teacher scolded me and pulled my color (y’all remember color charts?) from green to yellow (irony, much?) IN THE FIRST TWO HOURS OF ME EVER IN SCHOOL. This girl thought it was pretty funny that she could get me in trouble.
#AAPIHeritageMonth

2d She then accused me of stealing all kinds of things - even sticky tack from behind posters - just for the thrill of it. One day within the first week my color went from green to yellow to orange (watch out). The teacher sent home a note and called my parents. #AAPIHeritageMonth

2e “I don’t know what you’re teaching her,” she said to my mom. And my parents believed the mean white teacher that I was a dysfunctional klepto child.

Jokes on Mrs. Morris tho, cuz she gave me the integrity award in Kindergarten and AGAIN when she was teacher in 4th grade.