Thread by @DesdemonaWren, HELLO EVERYONE I AM YOU FAVOURITE BISEXUAL DISASTER, DESDEMONA WREN AND I [...]

HELLO EVERYONE I AM YOU FAVOURITE BISEXUAL DISASTER, DESDEMONA WREN AND I AM HERE TO LIVETWEET LEGENDS OF TOMORROW SEASON 5 EPISODE 13 ENTITLED I AM LEGENDS.

BUCKLE UP QUEENS.

5 SECONDS IN AND I WILL DIE FOR ZARI TARAZI PLEASE EVERYONE PROTECT HER SHE IS MY WIFE.

Okay but Gary's Bunny has IBS. Oh my god. Someone protect the bunny.

Also bitch we all know who took the fucking shadow stone. IT WAS ASTRA.

John: Where the bloody hell's the portal?
Me: ASTRA LOGUE STRANDED Y'ALL BITCHES IN ENGLAND THAT'S WHERE THE PORTAL IS.

MY MAN GARY AND HIS BUNNY

Lmao Gideon is dead. RIP Gideon.

If Gideon is down...then who is flying the ship??

Sara: We're gonna do it! We're gonna go to London bc WE are immortal super heroes.
Zari: *softly* except me.
Sara: Except for Zari.
The rest of the team:

LOOK AT MY BABIES WAITING FOR A BUS BC NONE OF THEM HAVE A CAR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Also look at how close these two are standing. mmmmmhmmm.

Lmao headcanon that John has a fuckton of just random people's clothes in his house bc he's such a slut (and also Charlie used to have orgies there so it tracks).

Zari: How do you live here and not have a car?
John: Never needed one, luv. Always bummed a ride.

This man is an idiot and I fucking love him.

ANY EXCUSE TO BE CLOSE TO HER EY JOHN-O

Bus driver: 'Ey Hold up who's payin the fare??
The Legends: *not having any money*
Sara: Sir please I know this sounds ridiculous, but the fate of the world depends on us getting on this bus

Sara bb love. That is not gonna track in England.

Bus Driver: I don't care! When I'm driving this bus everybody pays their fare!
Mick: HAVE IT YOUR WAY *TOSSES BUS DRIVER OUT OF BUS*
The Legends:

ASTRA IS SO SWEET I LOVE HER. HER DEMANDS FOR THE LOOM ARE AS FOLLOWS:
-Prunes. Disgusting. I want them gone.
-And dogs? They should stay puppies forever.
-Oh and there's just one more thing: I want to bring my mother back to life.

I STAN A BOSS ASS BITCH

Oh no I don't like this. I dON'T like this. WHAT DO YOU MEAN "TAKE CARE OF HER FRIENDS" LACHESIS

DON'T SENT ATROPOS AFTER MY BABIES. ZARI ISN'T IMMORTAL.

augh pls stop making Ava captain. I don't care that Sara's blind. She can still be captain.

Gary watching Atropos fuckin annihilate the legends like. DO SOMETHING, GARY.

Nate, to Zari: We're gonna get your brother back. We're just taking...y'know. The scenic route.
John: *lighting a cigarette at the back of the bus*

PAY ATTENTION, JOHN.

MY GIRL ZARI JUST SNATCHED THAT CIGARETTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH LIKE "NO!!!"

Gurl YELL at him. PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO THIS MAN.

Look at this ANGEL.

Zari: This doomsday act is getting SUPER old. *flirts with John until everyone on the bus is like...gurl u ok*
Me: EHgfsudrwhgdsfkjdfsgjhlgd'f;l

I LOVE HOW ZARI IS JUST LIKE THE WORLD ISN'T ENDING! And then IMMEDIATELY they hit a zombie.

ZARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I AM SCREAMING

JOHN I STG

John: The best part about having a damned soul is that these lot aren't interested in me. *Puts himself in front of a zombie to save Zari*

Me: *EYES SHINING WITH SPARKLE HEARTS AND GLITTER* I LOVE HIM.

Gary just electrocuted himself I'm CRYING.

HUMAN GIDEON IS BACK I LOVE HER HELLPPPPPPPPPPP

Zari: You live around here, you must know someone with a car.
John: I might know a bloke, yeah.
Zari: Okay. *starts walking*
Charlie: Woah woah woah. Zari. Shouldn't you stay with us? You're not immortal.
Zari: I can't just stand around and do nothing.

The Legends: What, Zari No!
John: Hey. It's okay. I got her.
Me: *SCREAMING*

Lachesis is such a cunt oh my GOD. I hate her. She's gaslighting my BABY ASTRA. NO. SAVE MY BABY.

SAVE HER

Yes I am going put a heart around them every time they're standing next to each other, why do you ask?

John: Did you ever think that maybe your brother's fate is doomed in every timeline? This bloke Rip Hunter used to say that certain things are just inevitable.

I am so fucking angry with him right now. How fuckinG DARE HE? HOW DARE HE SAY THIS TO HER. TO ME. ABOUT BEHRAD.

JOHN I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU. I BELIEVED IN YOU. HOW. DARE. YOU.

Zari, softly, hurt: Go to hell, John.

I need a minute. I need a minute I don't think I can continue I am so hURT.

John: I've been there and back, luv. Look, I'm just trying to save you the disappointment is all.
Zari: Y'know what? Let's just walk in silence.

Like look at this bastard's face. HE KNOWS HE FUCKED UP. HE KNOWS HE DID. AND YET HE DID IT. YOU DID THIS, JOHN.

Zari: *walks away*
John, to himself: Real smooth, Johnny. Real smooth.

YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF JOHN CONSTANTINE. YOU DO THIS ALL ON YOUR OWN. IF ZARI DIES I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

Gideon is hopping like a bunny and I am conceRNED.

I KNEW MY MAN GARY WOULD BE A HERO I LOVE YOU GARY PLEASE DON'T FUCK THIS UP

I THINK THE BRITISH ARMY ABOUT TO SHOOT MY BABIES. BET Y'ALL ARE GLAD ZARI IS GONE OFF WITH JOHN NOW.

Idiot British Plonker: My god these zombies can withstand headshots
Mick: SINCE WHEN CAN ZOMBIES TALK YOU IDIOT
Brit: The super zombies have become sentient
Me: OH MY GOD I KNEW THE FUCKING IMMORTALITEA WOULD BACKFIRE

Ava really just got shot in the head and stood back up like "OW!"

A queen.

We stan.

Gary to Gideon: We make an amazing team
Gary: WE SHOULD HAVE OUR OWN SPIN OFF
Me: I WOULD WATCH IT

Gary: LEt's blow uP thE ShIP
Me: GARY YOU'RE NOT IMMORTAL

Gary this episode is fuckin KILLIN me
Gary x Gideon foREVER

Zombies: *roar*
Zari: *grabs onto John's arm*
Me: I'm still angry at him but omg Zari stop being so cute I can't.

HE REALLY JUST PUT HIS ARM AROUND HER AND IS RUNNING WITH HER I'M STILL MAD AND HURT BUT EVEN I CAN'T STOP SHIPPING THEM

NO!!!!! THERE'S A ZOMBIE INSIDE WITH ZARI JOHN DON'T LET HER DIE I WILL RIOT.

John: Come on, luv. Let's go get the van and get out of here.
Zari: John, there's too many of them...but they're not interested in you. *grabs his hand and presses the car keys into them* Take the van, get the team and save Behrad.
John: No. No. That is a BAD idea.

Me: *SCREAMING* PLEASE DON'T LEAVE HER THERE JOHN.

Zari: Why? Because you didn't think of it?
John, looks hurt: Because I'm not leaving you here to DIE, alright?

JOHN IS GONNA STOP HER HEART TO SAVE HER.

Ava: We've got a man who turns into steel.
Nate: *punches the air*
Ava: We've got a shapeshifter
Charlie: *nods at her like she's insane*
Ava: We've got a kickass blind assassin
Sara: *nods*
Ava: And a reformed thief turned romance novelist
Mick: WHO YOU CALLING REFORMED?

THE LEGENDS JUMPING OUT OF A MOVING VEHICLE IS EVERYTHING TO ME.

Ava is giving off a zombie vibe LMAO

OH GOD THE NEXT SCENE IS JOHN GENTLY LAYING ZARI ON THE GROUND AND MY SOUL LITERALLY JUST LEFT MY BODY JUST NOW SO PRAY FOR ME

John: Alright luv can you uh...gimmie a bit of room here, ay? *gestures to her chest*
Me: *PUTS HANDS OVER MOUTH*
My soul: GOOD BYE CRUEL WORLD

I AM
NO LONGER BREATHING
I AM
NO LONGER OF THIS EARTH
MY HEART
STOPS WITH ZARIS
THIS SCENE
IS KILLING ME

Zari: If I die I can't believe the last thing I'm gonna see if your face.
Me: SAVAGE. SHE'S SAVAGE. I LOVE HER. I WOULD DIE FOR HER.
John:

omg he's like the Pikachu meme. Lemme lighten this up!

Uh

I tried o_o

John, gently: Alright luv. Close your eyes now.
Me: Please. My soul cannot keep leaving this earth. I will not survive it.

Headcanon that Tala had to close her eyes in this scene bc she couldn't stop laughing at the stupid ass faces Matt Ryan makes when he's casting spells.

SOME PART OF MY BRAIN JUST DIDN'T EVEN REGISTER THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO CARRY HER. IN HIS ARMS. AFTER HE STOPPED HER HEART.

MY DUMB ASS WAS LIKE YEAH SHE'LL WALK AWAY FROM THIS. SHE CAN JUST GET UP AND WALK. BUT NO. HE'S CARRYING HER.

BRIDAL STYLE.

THROUGH ZOMBIES.

Y'ALL BETTER JUST PLAN MY FUNERAL NOW BECAUSE THIS WILL BE MY CAUSE OF DEATH.

RIP Desdemona Wren: 1994-2020
Cause of death: This goddamn scene of Legends of Tomorrow

Why am I just completely hopeless at lightening images today wtf.

Like I tried but idek

HE CARRIED HER THROUGH THE ZOMBIES AND NOW THEY'RE IN THE VAN.

Love how he just. Stopped her heart. Now he's gonna start it again. Not a metaphor for love at aLL.

ZARI WAKE UP ZARI WAKE UP ZARI WAKE UP

IT'S NOT WORKING ZARI ZARI ZARI WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP

John, giving Zari CPR: COME BACK TO ME LOVE COME BACK TO ME.
Me: *SOBBING* I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS.

Zari: *takes a breath*
Me: *SCREAMING*
Them:

Me: *SCREAMING LOUDER*

Gary FUCKED it up
Like ALWAYS

Gary loses his mind
WAIT
MAGICIAN
I'M GAY FOR HIM. GARY I AM GAY FOR YOU.

Zari: Get in losers, we're going looming.

Me: I
I!!!!!!!!
I!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??

Love how the legends are in quarantine just like we are

The Legends! They're just like us!

A post it note saying "Brb Zombie Apocalipse" is just...

LisTEN.

THE GODDAMN REFERENCES IN THIS SHOW GOTTA STOP. MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT.

Zari has been through so much and John hasn't helped at all like she DIED this episode and almost didn't come back I am VERY upset.

I ship Charlie with Zari now bc at least CHARLIE CARES ABOUT HER. UNLIKE YOU, JOHN, YOU ASSHOLE.

Me: I HATE YOU JOHN
John: *goes to check on Zari*
Me: ...

Zari: Smoke break?
John: *sits down next to her* actually uh, I quit smoking.

John: Again.
Zari: mmmm don't tell me you finally found something to live for.
Me: PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME I WILL NOT SURVIVE.

look at my babies social distancing.

Zari: There's no point. The fates are literally against us. And we're at the mercy of a ChArGer.
John: *turning her own words against her* Y'know, I gotta say that all this doom and gloom attitude, really don't suit ya, luv.

Zari: *unimpressed* Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had a monopoly on DOOM AND GLOOM.

She wants to slap him.

John: I'm just sayin. Stick to what you know best, is all.
Zari: Yeah I'm not gonna take advice from a """professional exorcist""" with a savior complex.
Me: *shoveling popcorn into my mouth*

John: Come on! I do not have a savior complex.
Zari: Are you serious right now?
Zari, mockingly: Oh save me from my demons, John Constantine.
Me: .......................................................

John: Oh well what about you then? You talk about savior complex with all your self-help and advice videos. Saving your minions from a life of drudgery.
Zari: I gave my followers something to ASPIRE TO.
John: ASPIRE TO.
Me: ...................................................

John: What's that then? Oh, it's being a SUPERFICIAL GIT
Me: *gasping* JOHN I WILL TAKE ZARI AWAY FROM YOU. DON'T YOU DARE.

Zari: IF YOU THINK I'M SUPERFICIAL THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE WITH ME?
John: You know what? I don't know. I just think I haven't had enough punishment for one day.
Me: PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP

Zari: PUNISHMENT??? You should just go then! Right now!
John: You want me to leave? Because I will LEAVE. I WILL GO RIGHT NOW. AND I WILL NOT COME BACK.

Zari: *steps closer to him* Good! Great!
Me:

Zari: *steps closer to him* Good! Great! Me:

Zari: LEAVE! I wouldn't want to be with you right now if you were the last man on Earth!

Guys I'm...I'm too scared to hit play. Are they gonna kiss. Are they gonna kiss guys I'm scared.

John: WELL GOOD I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH!
Zari: *SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION*

Me: FGedjkdsfhulgkhdfslghsdf klhgDSFGDSFHUGHJDSF!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!>?!!
@ sdfglkjhbdfskjl hdsfg?!??!?!?!?!dgmflw gfdouighodsj gdsgd?!~?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?gedfjhdfiuhg sdf hgjdls;kfgd lkfdl;;ldgsf;ldsg sdgdgSDG?DFS?!@??!!?!??!!?!?1jdfgbjkhjfsd gfhg?!?!?!?!?!!?!!gdfwjk SDFHSDHISD?SD???

No one speak to me for the next hundred years while I PROCESS THIS.

please call an ambulance i no longer exist on this plane

so they're like definitely fuckin. wow. the team is in the other room, y'all.

please don't torture gary he's my true love.

Gary and Astra are BEST FRIENDS.

GARY YOU'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE.

John and Zari just like...casually walking back into the room after fucking.

Nate: You guys good?
Zari: Yeah.
Me: YOU HAVE NO IDEA, NATE.

Zari: Feeling a little better.
Charlie: *KNOWING LOOK*

OF COURSE CHARLIE WOULD KNOW IMMEDIATELY. GOD I LOVE HER.

John: Wow. Are those yams?
Me: EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT Y'ALL DID YOU TWO ARE NOT SUBTLE.

Zari just like...CASUALLY eating crisps like...oh my GoD

Wow. Okay. I was not PREPARED FOR THE LEVEL OF PAIN I FEEL AT THIS MOMENT WHERE JOHN LOOKS AT ZARI LIKE HE LOVES HER AND SHE JUST IGNORES HIM.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP. CALL A DOCTOR.

John: I'd through a multi continent rager.
Charlie: Would you really, Jhohn-o?
John: Oh, I would, yeah.
Charlie: There's nothing a little deeper? A little closer to your heart?
Me: Charlie pls I don't...I can't live like this.

Sara is gonna die I

I don't want this

Please stop. PLEASE STOP.

THEY'RE NOT IMMORTAL ANYMORE. NO NO NO NO NO.

Astra and Gary is SO good. So PURE.

ASTRA BB I LOVE YOU.

ATROPOS NO

I LITERALLY JUST SCREAMRED OUT LOUD !!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!! !N!ON !N!O!N!O!N!ON!ON!ONONONON!!N!O!N!!!!!!!NONON