On this #WorldIBDDay , I want to talk about grief. Grief occurs when there is a loss.

The day I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Pancolitis, I lost a healthy body. I lost an imagined healthy future. I've lost a lot of things because of Inflammatory Bowel Disease.

I lost the chance to study abroad, the ability to eat or drink certain things, I lost the freedom to move about without an awareness of the nearest bathroom. I lost the ability to take risks: always awaiting the next flare-up, always needing insurance and stability.

I've gone through the 6 stages of grieving since my 2017 #IBD diagnosis. Sometimes I end up back in a stage I thought I was well-past. More recently, though, I've found myself in stage 7 (cred to @IamDavidKessler). Trying to find meaning in the loss, or in spite of it.

Here's what I've learned, and what I want to stress for my fellow #IBDSuperHeroes on #WorldIBDDay. The loss in of itself is meaningless. Do not grant UC the power of becoming the meaningful thing. Loss just happens in this world. It is not a test, a blessing, etc.

The meaning is in us. The meaning is in the what comes next. The meaning is in what we do after. I am not grateful for UC. I am grateful for who I am as a person, and what I did after every single loss I've experienced since 2017.

A follow-up: posted this thread on instagram & someone I don’t know well reached out about her upcoming colonoscopy / GI issues. She said she thought she was the only one & felt alone/afraid. So if you are annoyed by me speaking out, it’s not for you. It’s for people like her.