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After a record breaking speedy recovery of just over 8 years I’m finally at a point where I can talk about the Tswana hun that dribbled me. A thread:
So I got into a relationship with this hun while working at Liquidchefs back in the day, we’ll call her Thato(not her real name). Cute, petit and innocent looking huns are the worst I’d soon find out.
This is how the relationship felt in the beginning, I even moved out from staying with the niggas and got my own place, baecations, spending money kumnandi.
Also:
Because we’re faithful mos angithi.
But don’t do as I do, do as I say and...
Anyway first 4 months are boring kwakumnandi. I registered at AFDA and hardly took any shifts at Chefs anymore.
It’s February we’re texting and she says I should meet up with her in Auckland Park since we haven’t seen each other since the December trip.
I’m not about that because
1. Rand is low, not working much.
2. I only have money to travel to Auckland when I get confirmation from AFDA.
I communicated this and she suggests we meet up on the day I have to go to AFDA.
1. Rand is low, not working much.
2. I only have money to travel to Auckland when I get confirmation from AFDA.
I communicated this and she suggests we meet up on the day I have to go to AFDA.
Literally me the entire conversation but she insists we meet up at Dros.
I repeat,”I’m broke though”
“Don’t worry babe I got you!” I’m sure a blackberry emoji followed that text. So the day comes and I head to school and sort out my things there first then head to Dros.
I’ve got exactly R50 for the student burger and beer special so I can blend in, I get there and Thato and her friend are sitting at an outside table bottle of wine and starters are being had kumnandi nje it’s a vibe.
So I’m greeted with a kiss and that hug, y’all know THAT hug... church hug the friend and after pleasantries she encourages me to join them in ordering.
Student beef burger with mushroom sauce and you can bring the castle draught so long is what I said to the waiter knowing my pocket and lowkey not trusting that ‘I got you.’
We eat, catch up kumnandi. They order their mains from the main menu and not the student menu but nothing clicked, I was just happy my baby was treating me for a change.
She tells me to order another beer since I’ve finished the first one and in my head I’m thinking my baby is balling and si order ngempela isithutha esiyimi.
It’s getting late and she calls for the bill and the waiter brings it to the table and hands it to me. I look at her and hand it over to her as I drink my beer in such a way that the glass covers my face.
She hands it back to me and says babe what are you doing sort out the bill. What do you mean? You said you got me, I don’t have that much money, I replied.
“I thought you were joking you always have money,” she responded. I couldn’t believe what I just heard.
I’m defeated, the earth is not opening up to swallow me, the friend looking at me like I have leprosy and I can’t run because where will I watch football if I do?
I jokingly say to the waiter: izitsha zigezwaphi la ekhaya? He replies: Azigezwa lana sokushaya nje bese sibiza amaphoyisa
I swallowed my pride and called my brother with the humility of a makoti tryna impress her mother in law. “Eh bafo ngise Dros and I can’t pay the bill, ngabe ubafo angangisiza bandla”
He chewed my ear off over the phone but I told him he’ll understand when he gets there. When he got there and saw me at the table with two girls he pretended to be on the phone and slid the money to me under the table. Covered my shame I love that man! 
As I paid the bill all Thato said was goodbye and we’ll talk when she gets home. I broke up with her later that evening but because ezibuhlungu azipheli that’s not how this story ends but part 2 is for another night 
