My OT assistant tested positive for covid-19 a day after I did my duty with him. A few days later I started having nonspecific symptoms like generalized bodyaches and low grade fever. Could not get off from work to isolate until I had a positive PCR test with me.

So, to protect my patients and family I got myself tested for covid. In those 24 hours of awaiting result, I experienced a number of emotions- 1) I was afraid, not of just the disease itself but the possibility of having transmitted it to my patients and family.

2) I was angry. Some people are privileged enough to stay inside their homes during this pandemic, yet they choose to endanger not only their own but the lives of people around them. I’m sacrificing mine and my family’s safety for these people?

3) Everything seemed meaningless. All those years spent to get into med school, medschool itself, residency. All those hours I spent away from my family to study. Hell, I wanted to be an HOD one day. What if I die? What’s the point.

4) The loneliness you feel in isolation can drive you mad. You can hear your family talking but you can’t sit with them. What if I test positive and then I die without hugging my parents for the last time?

I tested negative. And tbh, I made a joke out of the things I had been feeling, I laughed it out after testing negative. But the point is, the scare was real. And we go through it every other day. PLEASE STOP BEING STUPID SO WE CAN WORRY ABOUT THINGS OTHER THAN CORONA VIRUS.