Really thinking today about how easy it is to believe you know better than everyone else, and how a lack of institutional memory means a lot of "brand new ideas" have been tried, many times over.

It's like how every employee knows they could do a better job than their manager, not taking into account the ways in which managers are constrained by limits (often shitty ones yes). How everyone without kids is a better parent than actual parents.

It's not bad or wrong to have different ideas! It's not bad or wrong to question how things are done!

If you want to be effective though, it's super important to spend some time with the history, with the theory. Because that's what you're doing...theorizing.

It's not a dirty word, theorizing. When you sit and think about the systems you run up against, and how you want them to change, how you'd do them differently YOU. ARE. THEORIZING.

Are you suddenly less legit because you're *GASP* engaging in theory?

Na, come on.

Anyway, just sitting with the fact that we all are up against the pervasive belief and feeling that someone else could be doing what we do, better. And sometimes that's true! But also a lot of these assumptions fail to recognize how shit actually works in real life, aka messy.

Applying THEORY to "real life" means you'd better be flexible as f. Because you don't, and never will, control all the variables, and you've gotta duck and dodge.

It's way easier to back seat everything.

And so many of us occupy all these places at once. We know, we absolutely KNOW that we could do things better if only given the opportunity and resources...while at the same time other folks are looking at the work we do, thinking the same about us lol.

I don't think there is value in trying to stop any of this btw...we do need people pushing limits and questioning, not only everyone and everything else, but also ourselves.

Just don't let it sink you into despair is the point. And also, maybe be a bit kinder to others.

Because we're all going through the shit, no one is going to solve everything, do everything right, be pure enough...align yourself with the shit you are passionate about, question yourself, let ppl question you, question others...but don't let it freeze you.

Trust me, there are times I want to just quit everything and go live like a hermit in the bush. I have to grapple with that being a normal feeling. We always joke..."oh to have the confidence of a mediocre white man" but gosh no thanks. Surely we can be more self-reflective.