Being obese. A thread.

Hi, kids. It me, your favorite writer of pulp fantasy noir, or at least in the top five... million.
Anyway, I’m fat. Obese. Carrying around a spare tire. Chunky. Husky. Round. Overweight. Undertall. Hefty.
I could go on, adding in some things I’ve been called, but you get me.

Not to put too fine a point on it, I am and always will be obese. Genetics, lack of desire to exercise, whatever. I am who and what I am.

After a long mental battle, I am comfortable in my own skin. I will never be a beanpole, at least not without surgery, and I’m okay with that. In fact, I think I look pretty frigging good.

So when I saw Speaker Pelosi call Trump morbidly obese, I laughed. I laughed my ass off, and I got plenty to laugh off. I giggled and chortled. Why?

Because I knew some people would take the medical definition she used (morbidly obese) and think she was fat-shaming him, and laughing at him because he’s fat.

No. No, she wasn’t. Not even a little.

She was laughing in disbelief that a man who is in so many risk groups including the morbidly obese group is claiming to take something THAT USUALLY KILLS MORBIDLY OBESE PEOPLE.

She is laughing b/c a) that’s how some people deal with deranged actions and statements, 2) she thinks he’s a goddamn idiot, or III) all of the above.

As a fat (morbidly obese... whatever) white guy, I’d like to report my feelings aren’t hurt, and we as liberals need to focus on more important things, like BEATING TRUMP AT THE POLLS.

Stop with the outrage machine. He doesn’t GAF. Get your people registered, get them voting, so in November Trump is out and we can get back to complaining about the stupid shit again.

I miss those precedented times. The ordinary moments. Days that live in famy. Let’s come together as a nation and repudiate the bullshit racist assholes, kick Orange Dump to the curb, and be Americans again.

And stop worrying if you’re fat or not. You’re fucking beautiful as you are, and I love you.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.