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Dear NT: When I& #39;m feeling rejected (RSD), sometimes I know it& #39;s irrational. It doesn& #39;t mean I can stop it.
What doesn& #39;t help: "don& #39;t worry, it will be fine!" (I know, I still feel like shit), "but no one rejected you!" (no shit). Pity and reassurance don& #39;t usually help. 1/
What doesn& #39;t help: "don& #39;t worry, it will be fine!" (I know, I still feel like shit), "but no one rejected you!" (no shit). Pity and reassurance don& #39;t usually help. 1/
What helps:
- Give me space to talk my feelings out. Often, I don& #39;t know why I& #39;m feeling like that. Giving me the space to talk makes my self insight get better, and alleviates rejection.
- Use small questions to encourage my thinking process if I& #39;m having a hard time. 2/
- Give me space to talk my feelings out. Often, I don& #39;t know why I& #39;m feeling like that. Giving me the space to talk makes my self insight get better, and alleviates rejection.
- Use small questions to encourage my thinking process if I& #39;m having a hard time. 2/
- Don& #39;t ask about it insistently, specially if everyone else is asking too. If I& #39;m working on it, too much insistence might make it worse. But...
- If I& #39;m not making progress, check in so I don& #39;t ignore it and bury it forever. It can cause long lasting anxiety and distress. 3/
- If I& #39;m not making progress, check in so I don& #39;t ignore it and bury it forever. It can cause long lasting anxiety and distress. 3/
- If it& #39;s a group of friends, make sure only one of you asks. Then ask if I want you to tell them about it and/or please ask them to not bombard me with questions. They can still show support and love, that helps.
- Above everything, listen and let me do the talking. 4/
- Above everything, listen and let me do the talking. 4/
ADHDers are so used to being called oversensitive, exaggerated, dramatic, "too much"... well intentioned compassion and pity often comes across as belittling, undermining and shaming. It& #39;s a lifelong trauma that runs deep and has terrible consequences on our mental health. 5/
Most tries of "cheering up" come across as toxic positivity or invalidation of our feelings, even if it& #39;s not the intention. This rings true in most cases, but we& #39;re specially susceptible to it due to our past history. 6/
RSD is like a tidal wave. We don& #39;t see it coming, and by the time we realize we& #39;re neck high with water. The best we can do is try to not drown. It will eventually go down. Just, don& #39;t tell me "it& #39;s not so bad" when you& #39;re on a helicopter above the wave. 7/
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