#sheith | angsty | hanahaki with a twist | illness | s6-s8 but no wedding | unknown warnings

Keith doesn't think much of it at first. They're fresh out of the fight with Lotor, and Shiro's back. He's sore because of the fights.

But as they travel to Earth, it doesn't go away.

It gets progressively worse. His arms start to hurt. Sometimes they get small spasms. Sometimes clenching the Black Lion's wheel tingles. Sometimes one arm will ache so badly that he knows he must have over did it. Plus, he starts gets tired a lot, for some strange reason.

Strangely, being near Shiro...makes it worse. Keith knows Shiro doesn't love him, not like he did. He didn't say that he did, didn't even say anything about the fight that his clone and Keith had had. It stung.

When Shiro moves out of the Black Lion, Keith can finally breathe

again but his muscles feel as though they got endlessly smacked around. He puts it off as remembering the fight. It must have triggered the feeling of actually being smacked around.

By the time they get to Earth, Keith's having sharp pain in his arms. He goes to cut down one of

the bots but drops his bayard with a small cry as lightning courses through his right wrist. The bayard goes dormant as he falls over, clenching his hand. Luckily, Lance shoots down the bot before it can fire at him.

When the team asks later, he claims that the bot got in a hit.

It didn't.

But Keith has little time to think about that as they get escorted out to the Garrison. Shit goes down. It's one fight to the next, no breaks.

And then they do get a break. Keith goes to the medical bay, making sure no one knows it. He gets tests done, heart sinking

as he finally knows what's wrong.

"It seems you're developing a-"

"Muscular disease," Keith interrupts the doctor. He gets it now. Hanahaki. Unrequited love. People got the illnesses their loved one has. Shiro's disease.

"Yes," the doctor nods, "Does it run in your family?"

"Something like that," Keith frowns before sighing, "How bad is it?"

"It's aggressive," the other replies, "I'm not sure medication would work at this point. The pain will get worse. Your muscles will grow weaker."

"I know," Keith nods, remembering Shiro when he was having

problems, "How long do I have?"

"With this form and how it's progressing," the other pauses, "Likely two years. Some days you'll feel fine, others will be painful. I can write a prescription, but I don't think it'll help. It's best you tell your loved ones about this."

"Okay," Keith nods before leaving. He sighs as he gets back to his room. He's not telling them. They'd unknowingly let Shiro know and then he'd realize that Keith had hanahaki.

It hits him. The irony. Shiro got his disease at 21. Keith is 21. What a mess.

Then they fight Sendak. The Altean Robeast smashes into them, almost beating them. It turns into a bomb. Keith's out for a whole month.

But the disease only gets worse once they go to leave Earth in the Atlas to rejoin the fight. Shiro...

He pulls away. He doesn't meet Keith at

the cliffs on top of Black. He doesn't hang out with him anymore. He barely speaks to Keith.

He's not sure if it helps the hanahaki or not. Anymore, just doing anything hurts like hell. It's as if thorns are puncturing every single muscle in his body. Keith curls up around Kosmo

while wondering if this would have been Shiro's life if the disease had gotten worse. Would he have hurt this much? Was...was he in this much pain before Kerberos?

And then they get into the fight with Zethrid. Keith watches as Shiro stands frozen, eyes wide. For a second, he

thinks he will shoot at her. He has a gun. He would help Keith, defend him. He nearly took out the whole Blade back when Keith took his trials. He would.

But he doesn't. He stays frozen even as Zethrid goes to shoot him. Goes to shoot Shiro.

In the end, it's Veronica's shot

that saves them. Keith's dropped like a stone and he twirls to catch her even though his body feels like it's breaking into pieces and his lungs hurt from lack of oxygen and too much sulfur and dioxide.

When he's taken to the medical ward to get some clean oxygen, he finds that

his heart aches more, his muscles flaring. Shiro...

Shiro doesn't care anymore. He gave up. He gave on Keith even though he made a promise.

Keith takes the hint. He gives Shiro his space. He takes missions further away, with Voltron. Besides, the hanahaki is getting worse and

Shiro might recognize the symptoms. He might realize that he's dying. There's no lying. Keith has limited time. He hasn't told anyone other than his wolf, for he was a good boy and it felt right to get it off his chest with someone.

The war progresses until they reach Oriande.

There they face Haggar. She fights them and they almost lose everything. They almost lose Allura. But Keith won't let it happen. He's got an expiration date, not Allura. She...she deserved the world. She should experience the ocean with Lance.

Before he knows it, Haggar offers

herself to fix the universe. When they get back, all of them are in their lions. It feels like a happy ending.

But it's not. At least, not for Keith. His body hurts more now, like salt-dipped nails being hammered into his flesh. One year is all he has left.

He leaves Earth. The best he can do is save some people before he's gone, make right the wrongs his bloodline has caused. He helps rebuild and regrow civilizations. He laughs and plays with the kids he meets there. He speaks with the others sometimes. But not Shiro. That hurts...

It's a double-edged blade. Just thinking of Shiro makes him fall apart in body and mind but his stupid body and mind want him.

And then...he gets an invitation. To a wedding. Shiro's wedding of all things. As soon as he reads the words, his hand goes weak, dropping his tablet.

"Keith?" His mom asks from the other room, peeking in, "Is everything okay? I thought I heard you drop something."

He doesn't say anything, only hands her the message. She reads it, eyes critical before she frowns.

"Keit-"

"What?" He snaps softly before sitting on the floor.

She sits right next to him, not touching him as he huffs, "I thought...I thought he liked me. At least as a friend. But...Who is he even marrying? I didn't know he was dating someone. Why...why did he pull away? Was it me? Was I the problem?"

"Keith," Krolia takes him into her

arms, holding him near as the pain grows and his eyes water, "It's not your fault. It wasn't your choice. You tried, Keith. I'm proud of you. Why don't we take the next few weeks off for ourselves? Hmmm? Have some bonding time."

A few weeks is all he has left. He glances up at

her, seeing her telling the truth. She looks resigned but happy in a way, like she's ready to support him.

"You know?" Keith blinks before frowning, "You know about it?"

"Yeah," Krolia nods, a soft sadness to her face, "I know. I saw your memories from the abyss. Shiro had the

same issues. At first, I thought you were overworked. But you've been dropping things more often, holding your wrist, staying in bed longer, eating less. I know I can't make it better so I thought we'd catch up like we should have all along. What should we do first?"

"Hold me?" Keith wheezes softly, gripping her arms weakly, already feeling exhausted.

"Any time," she answers back, wrapping him up tightly in her arms before she takes him to his bed. Normally he'd protest but he feels small now. He wants her warmth. She's his mom. He needs her

support. He loves her.

"Love you, mom," he yawns, resting his head against her shoulder. He likes this. It's nice, something he would have done when he was younger.

"I love you too," she speaks before covering them in blankets, "Rest, Keith. It'll just be us. Kosmo too."

That's how they spend their next few weeks. Keith doesn't look at the invitation again, doesn't answer back. He doesn't answer the others calls. He just wants to spend time with his mom and his wolf. He doesn't plan on going to the wedding.

Each day, he withers away some more.

He starts having trouble with standing. He gets off balance easily now. It takes so much longer to get up. Sometimes his muscles spasm for minutes at a time. He's usually in constant pain. Just walking gets tough, him going slow.

He can't spar anymore but his mom still pretends

he can. She holds him close every night, is free with her hugs and kisses to his forehead. He loves it. He wishes his dad was with them so he could experience them as a family one last time.

Krolia shows him the stars, galaxies made of red and white and black and blue and all

the colors he never knew existed. He loves this too as Kosmo curls up over them like a weighted blanket, thick and warm. He's ridiculously big. Probably bigger than a horse.

But Keith's probably shrunk, at least muscle wise. He's thinner than before. Like a twig. He laughs.

"What's up?"

"Oh, thinking of twigs," he answers back as they rest on their bed, "Lance wouldn't hesitate to call me one now."

Krolia is quiet for a moment.

"Mom?" He asks before turning to her, "What's wrong?"

"I told them," she answers back, "About your hanahaki."

"What?" Keith tilts his head, a pain of its own. A moment later, panic finds his heart, "Wait! Does Shiro know? You didn't tell him, did you? He can't know! I don't want him to think he has to pretend to love me back when he doesn't! He can't know. Shiro-"

He stops as agony

flares in his right side. He curls up tightly as a deep spasm latches onto his arm, making his fist clench without him wanting it too. His limb shakes as he bites his lip hard.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

It last longer than any before. By the time it's done, he's panting and

crying and in more pain than before.

"Shhh," his mom whispers, rubbing his arm. He focuses on her, "It's okay. I made sure Shiro didn't know. I figured they deserved to know. They've been worried, Keith, especially Allura. Will you at least talk to them?"

"Okay," Keith nods.

He does. He gets on his tablet. It's set up so he doesn't have to hold it. He really can't do that anyway. He's tired already but he knows he has to call.

All answer on the first ring, as though they've been waiting there. He nearly rolls his eyes. His mom set him up.

"How have you been?" Allura asks right away. The others are silent, watching him.

"Shitty but..." Keith rubs his face, wincing at the pain of his action, "But good, mostly. Mom's been helping me."

"That's good," Allura nods. Everyone goes silent for a moment, and Kosmo moves in

his sleep, making a small sound. Keith pets his head.

"Is it..." Pidge asks in a small voice, "Is it really Shiro?"

"Yeah," Keith nods before lying back some, "It is."

"You could tell him..." Lance starts only for Keith to shake his head.

"I can't," he sighs, "I can't make

him love me. Not like I love him. He's with someone. I can't guilt trip him into a relationship because I can't get over my feelings. I...He's been the most important person in my life. I don't want him to know."

"But...if he heard," Hunk frowns, "I think he'd return the

feelings-"

"He won't," Keith interrupts, looking down, "He made it clear. He wants nothing to do with me. I get it."

"Dude," Lance speaks louder, "You haven't been here. Shiro's is going crazy without you."

Keith's attention snaps up to the other.

"If this is some kind of

joke to make me feel better so I'll recover, don't," Keith glares at him, "I don't need false hope. I'm at the end of my thread for that."

"It's not a joke," Pidge shakes her head, moving her glasses, "Shiro is a mess lately. He tries to act like it doesn't bother him, but we

see it. He's distraught about not talking to you. You haven't answered any of his calls. He's even beginning to change some of his wedding stuff. He got black roses, Keith. He wants the tables red. Red. That's your color."

"It's not my color," Keith huffs back, "Plenty of people

like red."

"But not enough to change everything for their wedding," she frowns, "He changed the cake. He was going to choose vanilla swirl but he got cherry."

Cherry. Keith freezes. They used to eat cherry cake up on the roof all the time. The first dozen times were burnt

because Shiro had been absolutely terrible at baking. Keith ate them up anyway, happy for anything Shiro gave him.

"That doesn't mean anything."

"He can't sleep-"

"Nightmares and insomnia," Keith tries for nonchalant but his chest spikes with worry anyway, "He's always had

them. The war made it worse."

He doesn't mention that they all have nightmares now. He doesn't mention that he wakes from them, wakes from his cheek being seared off to his mother holding him.