being a founder is lonely. being an artist is lonely. being a new/emerging author is lonely. i’ve spent 3 years (from seed/thought to implementatioon/launch) actively loving and caring for inQluded. i’ve built beautiful relationships. but i’m still the founder - there’s dynamics

that i am aware of. there’s privilege a possess that i own and do my best to continue to listen and take in feedback to be better

and then there’s this solemn sound of loneliness playing in the background because i know the community i started - is something i will and should only access peripherally

and so then, i am left really, overseeing two worlds i’ve built. inQluded and my author life. and i’ve to say, i don’t know what else to do. i’m trying all the time. but gosh it feels bad. bad to be excluded when i’ve spent literally 13 years of my life as a youth advocate

me someone who fiercely advocates for inQlusion. and please understand my POV. and know i do not say this in a tone that is loud or angry. if you’ve met me, it takes a looooot to raise my voice. and this thread is a tone of reflection, loneliness, melancholy, joy, sadness...

and confusion.

and for me, i feel its best i continue to “do my thing” but i cannot pretend the longing to be included (not literally the org) doesn’t linger.

i think about him and this performance quite a bit. i think *he’s* beautiful. his eyes glisten. his eyes communicate. the light shines through.

im off to love some flowers...