I'd like to take a moment and talk about Narcissists:

A Narcissist is a person with an inflated sense of self-importance and a very deep lack of empathy for others. 1/n

Narcissists normally require a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. They prey on empathetic people for a 'supply' to feed their broken ego.

The narcissist's "supply" could be their wife, friend, child... you name it.. it could be anyone. 2/

Narcissists are extremely predictable; they live life though cycles: They start first with of love bombing their 'supply' followed by devaluation and the discard... and then guess what... it starts all over again with the lovebombing/idealism phase. 3/

When the narcissist starts the love bombing phase, the supply will feel idealised and put onto a pedestal.. but it is only a matter of time before the drama begins: the narcissist will crack. 4/

Narcissists can't keep up with being kind and gentle, it's not the person they are. They self-loathe and are in pain, and need to get a high from their 'supply.' Their ego will stop at nothing to get that high back. Why? Because of their lack of empathy. 5/

Next, the narcissist will devalue their 'supply.' They could criticise a frying pan you just purchased, or shame you for wearing shorts. They can call you names or tell you that you're not good enough. 6/

Narcissists will also make stories up claiming that you did something you downright know you never did - that's called gaslighting and it's the most subtle but ultimate weapon in a narcissist's tool kit - Why? It slowly erodes your self-worth. 7/

From here, the 'supply' will feel lost and uncertain - because the person they love are making pretty rough claims. And this is where it's dangerous because the supply most likely believes the narcissist. 8/

And when the 'supply' is at their lowest, the narcissist will unleash their final blow - the discard.

This is when the narcissist refuses to go on your one year anniversary holiday that you planned for months. 9/

The discard could also be when the narcissist decides to dump you the day after Christmas.

Why do they do this? Because the 'supply' has been devalued so much, that the narcissist gets a narcissistic rush when you come running back back to fix the problem. 10/

And, the 'supply' doesn't know they're being strung along in this cycle because they're empathic and want to fix the situation. 11/

The problem is, however, the 'supply' is so wrapped up in fixing the problem, they miss the signs that the devaluing and discarding is all a game to the narcissist.

The narcissist has no empathy - so to them, this is just an entertaining game of cat and mouse. 12/

How does a narcissist get away with this? They isolate their 'supply' from the very first day - Remember when you just met and spent hours on the phone... texting all hours of the night - they wanted to know everything about you and you thought it was exhausting but romantic? 13/

The narcissist takes you away from your friends and family by using different tactics - like isolation, using up your time, demonising your friends - loads of ways... and slowly, you pull back and are spending more time with the narcissist and less time with your friends. 14/

And... then the narcissist will crack because 1. they're exhausted from the acting or 2. know that you're so far down the rabbit hole, they can start to abuse their 'supply' 15/

The relationship of the narcissist and their 'supply' is like a dance, but the narcissist is the only person who knows the moves. The 'supply' doesn't understand that this is a cruel game the narcissist plays - where the goal post keeps moving. 16/

As the 'supply' tries to keep up with the narcissist's demands, they start to question who they really are... they can't keep up with the incredible demands, the daily put downs... the gas lighting... and now the 'supply' has nobody to talk to but the narcissist. 17/

So what happens next? Good question.

There are many people in the world who are the 'supply' and don't know that they're dancing with the narcissist devil. They will stay in this relationship for years, or even... their entire lives... 18/

For a few, they are able to see the abusive pattern and break the cycle. It's not easy to leave a narcissist because the abusive cycle that the narcissist takes the 'supply' though, creates a very strong bond. A lot of times, the 'supply' will go back to the narcissist. 19/

But sometimes, the 'supply' has seen the cracks in the mask of the narcissist and can start to see who they REALLY are deep down. The cogs start to turn... they seek out help and if you have a good therapist, they'll call out the narcissist's game what it really is - abuse. 20/

At first, the 'supply' will be horrified by the word 'abuse' because that's only reserved for people who hit their partners - but guess what folks, gas lighting, name calling, insulting or swearing at them are all examples of abuse. 21/

The 'supply' will be incredibly confused because they'll remember back to the glimmers of goodness the narcissist gave them. They had good times together - even though the bad times out numbered them. 22/

The 'supply' has been brainwashed by the narcissist but they are smart. Why? Because the 'supply' kept notes of incidents as soon as they happened so when the narcissist was trying to gaslight them, she could compare the notes. 23/

Eventually, after two weeks of the silent treatment and the narcissist throwing an ultimate tantrum, the 'supply' has had enough. With her log of notes, she knows that she's not going crazy - that the narcissist has gone too far, and she is able to escape. 24/

The 'supply' cuts off all communication with the narcissist because she knows that's the only way she will be able to come out of this. The narcissist will try to contact her - manipulating her using her friends, family, e-mail, gifts - whatever.... 25/

Narcissists are so messed up, they'll even go out of their way to hurt themselves to get their 'supply' back because they know that the 'supply' is an empath and will come running to help... 26/

The narcissist will try and mirror the lifestyle of the 'supply'. For example, the narcissist could start to go to the pub or gym where the 'supply' had been attending for five years. They could even try and take over their friends to isolate the 'supply' even more. 27/

This pushes the 'supply' out and possibly into the arms of the narcissist - remember the narcissist is a master manipulator. 28/

But here's a hot tip for those playing at home - want to beat a narcissist at their own game? Remove them from your life like they never existed. Never contact - never speak, reach out... nothing. The narcissists biggest fear is to be rejected and invisible. 29/

For the empaths - the 'supplies' who gave the benefit of the doubt to the narcissists because they were just 'broken...' or need someone to 'love them' - it's time for you to love yourself as much as you wanted the narcissist to love you. 30/

This will be the hardest experience of your life - but if you leave and start to look after yourself the way you deserve to be looked after... like REALLY love yourself, you'll come out of this. I promise you. 31/

You do not deserve to be bullied. You deserve unconditional love, and it starts within you.

So, turn the love that you're craving inward and as much as it hurts... walk away from the narcissist... they do not deserve you. 32/

Now whilst your healing, the narcissist will try and reach out to you - they'll have really dumb reasons, too... they may even confess that, yes, they were gaslighting you and made up all the stories....

Don't fall for their apology. It's fake. They don't mean it. 33/

You need to stay strong and ignore them... if you haven't already, block their email address, all social media... everything.... delete them from your life. Because they don't matter anymore, you matter. You are your #1 priority right now. Lawyer up if you have to 34/

And to heal from narcissistic abuse, if you haven't already, find a really good therapist who understands domestic abuse. Yes, this is abuse. I know it's hard for you to understand... and this is where time comes in handy. 35/

Time is on your side. The more days you are without the narcissist, the more things are put into perspective, the more you can heal - the more you are able to compartmentalise what the hell just happened. 36/

Life with a narcissist is a whirlwind and not the good kind... and you deserve better, my friend.

I hope this thread helped. It's a tough topic.

I will now leave you with some narcissism reading material - 11 signs you're dating a narcissist: 36/36 https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/am-i-dating-a-narcissist